Love Me So I Don't Have To - COMPLETED

2.9

It's been a while. I know I'm sometimes gone for a long time every-so-often. It happens.

But I always come back, don't I?

It's not like really anyone actually reads this. Just my boyfriend and probably that one chick I don't care much at all for. I don't think Cal knows I have this. Either way, I tell her anyways.

My other readers are probably just people who read it all at once and archive it forever and forget. That's okay. I'm okay with it.

I don't write in here for people to hear my voice. I write in here because this book will always love me just so I don't have to. This book will love me when I can't. This book is me but not. This book is me loving myself when I don't. This book is me trying to get better when I've nothing else. Or when I just don't know what to do. Or if I need a friend but no response about what I say.

So, I'm always going to come back to this book. Well, not always. There has to be a final chapter. There has to be one last story to tell. There has to be a string of final words. There always has to be.

But until then, I'll keep coming back. I won't permanently leave with no warning. I'll always come back until I'm ready to leave this behind. Maybe it'll end once the next chapter of my life begins. Maybe it'll end once I don't need this book to love me so I don't have to actively love myself.

Maybe by then I'll start another book on my next chapter. Maybe I'll write more often than I do now. Maybe there will be more pages in that book than this one.

I've had this book for nearly two years. November 2016, if I'm not mistaken. A lot has happened since the beginning. I'm sure anyone who is reading this chapter knows that. All these things I never would have thought possible were possible and came to be.

I'm at that point in life where I have to think about what to do in life. I've been dancing around a few choices. The problem is that I don't have much of a chance. I never thought I'd have this problem. Not that this problem would have been unlikely for me. It's just that I either didn't think I'd make it this far or that I didn't think about how my choices would affect my future. And, so, I don't know what to do other than come to this book.

I'm stuck, and I don't know what to do. I wish this book could help me more, but it is only a book. I'll keep coming back for you, though.