Our Shot (LAMS school au)

Chapter 22: Alex's Attempt

Alex's POV

"Why do you have to hurt people like that, Thomas," I said softly once Laurens ran out, trying to reach some part of him that might respond to logic.

"And don't tell me it's because he's gay," I interrupted whatever response he may have made, "Because that would be the most hypocritical, pot-calling-the-kettle-black statement I've ever heard."

He took a step forward. "You don't know what you're talking about, Hamilton," he hissed, but even though he had several of inches of height on me, I wasn't intimidated.

"I might," I continued to speak quietly, "Because John told me."

"He told you what?"

"Everything."

For his reaction, I could have physically hit him. He mumbled something angrily and backed himself up against the bathroom counter, and then spun away to look into the mirror and away from me.

"Did he tell you that he was the bad guy first?" He asked quietly, so quietly I was almost convinced he was talking to himself, staring into his own eyes in the reflection.

I nodded, but he couldn't see that so I said, "If that's how you want to word it, then I suppose so."

Jefferson didn't speak, and I saw his reflection shut his eyes tightly and then reopen them and wipe them aggressively with his sleeve. "I'd felt bad enough for a long time with Laurens on my side, but nothing worse than when he left me, Hamilton. I felt like garbage," he spat, "I was nothing but me; worthless. Useless. That's how Laurens made me feel for a long time. That's something you need to understand."

"That's no reason to treat him like that, don't you understand? Don't take everything out on him, Thomas, it's horrible."

"He's just too fragile for his own good."

"He's not fragile," I defended my friend, "He's only hypersensitive to abuse. In short, your abuse."

The boy standing before me scoffed. "Oh, that's rich!" He said sarcastically, "Because it seems that even after his sob story, you've wasted no time in seducing him yourself!"

I was indignant. "I haven't seduced anyone," I said angrily, "Especially not John."

This time Thomas laughed. "You must be so blind to people's feelings, Hamilton," He told me.

"And you aren't?" I responded angrily, "My friends don't hold anything against you, so why can't you just leave them alone?"

I continued to shoot back responses, but in my mind I was tossing around the idea of what he had said. John? Just his name triggered several different emotional responses, Jefferson seems to know him a lot better than I do; what if he's right? Does Laurens have... feelings, for me?

I pushed those thoughts aside. Now wasn't the time time to worry about them, but I subconsciously knew that I would have to address the matter sometime soon.

"John ruined the pitiful bit of life I thought was worth living before high school," Thomas continued, "Don't act so high and mighty to say that you wouldn't have wanted revenge."

"I can't say that," I admitted, "But I still feel sorry for you, Thomas."

He whipped around. "I don't want your pity," he scoffed.

"I'm not pitying you, Thomas, I want to help you."

"Then I don't want your help!"

"Then what do you want?" I pushed, still attempting to stay as calm as possible, "Because if you keep treating my friends like this, we are sure as hell gonna have a problem, Thomas."

Nothing to say, he scoffed lightly and turned his back to me once more. "It doesn't have to be this way," I continued, my voice stressed, "We can be friends, Thomas, did you ever consider that?"

"I offered you friendship!" He exclaimed, spinning around, and advanced towards me, "And you refused it."

"Because you were being an ass," I justified, "For the same reason that we're debating over now: my friends!"

"I don't care about that!" He exclaimed, taking more steps toward me until he was only about a foot away, and I found that I had unknowingly backed myself up against the opposite wall.

"Then what do you care about? Just tell me, and I'll leave you alone!"

"You can't- I need-" I felt his hot breath against my face.

"Spit it out, Jefferson!"

"I- you.."

"Godammit, I want to help you!"

Then, before I entirely knew what was happening, he did what I never expected him to do, but should have seen coming. He closed the gap between us, pressing his mouth to mine.