Depressed (A Zaley Fanfic)

Part 6

Zay's P.O.V

Is it bad that I feel like I'm living in Farkle's shadow? Like Riley will never love me the same way she loved him? I feel so guilty because I'm at her house and she's crying to me about the baby she lost when she was with Farkle. I also feel really guilty because I'm happy and sad that he died. Happy because I get the girl of my dreams and sad because she went through so much pain.

"Uh, what? Sorry I went into my own little world there." I said hopping she couldn't feel the guilt rolling off of me in tidal waves.

"I was asking if you wanted Chinese food for dinner. But now I'm asking what's wrong?" She said and you could practically feel the concern rolling off of her like you could see my guilt.

"Nothing babe it's just I was thinking about Farkle. How good he was for you, and how much he loved you." I said hopping to cover up some of my guilt.

"Well yeah he did love me a lot. But why were you thinking about that?" She asked with her cutest little face on.

"I guess I was thinking about how if Farkle hadn't died would you be with me or would you would be with Farkle and you guys' kid or kids?" I asked and I could see her wheels turning.

"We would only have had one kid because if we had anymore our parents would have killed us. And I think I still would have been with you because that's how fate works." She said sounding like a freaking genius.

"Sorry I doubted our love." I said then went wide eyed. I just confessed my love to her. "I didn't mean to say that." I fixed that quickly.

"It's okay. I love you, too. I mean at least I think I do." She said, with a sparkle in her eyes that I had never seen before.

"What do you mean you think you do?" I asked her.

"I mean I don't know because the only person I have ever loved died and that killed the part of me that I thought could love because he was my first real love. So I'm sorry I don't know because that part of me the loving part is supposed to be dead! I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A SCREW UP!" She yelled and then stormed away. Shit I screwed that up bad. I can't believe I could've just messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me. I need to find her. I'll text Maya and ask for her help.

*texts*

Z: Hey I need your help.

M: With what?

Z: Finding Riley.

M: What do you mean finding Riley? What happened?

Z: Well I kinda told her I loved her and when she said she thought she loved me I asked what she meant and I think she took it the wrong way or I said the wrong way all I know is that she left running out.

M: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HURT HER MORE THAN SHE'S ALREADY HURT YOU MORON!!!!

Z: I didn't mean to and now all I want is her back and please don't tell Lucas.

M: Fine I'll come over now and help you look.

Z: 'Kay I'm gonna go to Topanga's and look for her there.

M: M'Kay I'll meet you there.

*end of texting*

Now I just have to find her. Well here's to hoping.

A/N: sorry it's taking so long for updates and sorry they're so short but I'm trying.