Some Things Can't Be Solved With Just Clues

Chapter 10: Burrito Knows All

I venture into the unknown world, slowly checking every stop around town. Apparently, the phrase "Do you know Devan, the stripper?" was enough to earn you a slap to the cheek and maybe a well aimed punch, if it's a good day. Countless bruises are all over my knees and legs, and my right eye is black and swelling.

I check out the last area of the stop in my map - the Japanese section. I'm reluctant to go to that neighborhood, after seeing so many memes about it. 'Onee-chan, you've stepped into the wrong neighborhood... ' is a personal favorite, but it did have a tendency to turn my blood cold.

Shivers erupts as I move a quivering leg into the street that marks off Japantown from Chinatown. Con wasn't with me this time - I had suggested him to stay at home and play GTA 5, to which he earnestly agreed. My abnormally muscled biceps begin flexing out of control as I grip the briefcase in my hand more tightly. Is there someone that Devan knew that really hung out around here a lot?

The sun is hidden behind a fluffy cloud that seems to be jeering at me. I wipe sweat off my brow, and accidently run into something enlarged and comfortable.

It's ... a body pillow?

I start screaming as I'm hoisted upwards with a mob of weebs carrying body pillows, all chanting "Onee-chan, Onee-chan, Onee-chan." Tears start flowing out of my eyes, even more than Con when he had gotten... when he had gotten... Nevertheless, I obviously resist. I twist my huge muscles around, trying to bust open a containment of the pillows around me. I see some tig 'ol biddies - I'm horrified, but my looped dingalingadong didn't like to listen to me. I'm haroused, you might say.

A large, pillowed butt is stuffed into my dïcknose. I gasp for air, and then a sudden breeze knocks me out cold.

When I finally regain consciousness, there is an obviously gay person looming over me. Like, she has the whole homo package. Slick, bright, ginger colored hair, dazzling eyeliner only capable of a gay's, and an "ANIME ROCKS!" t-shirt with a bunch of anime characters littering the bottom half. Not to mention, she wears tumblr galaxy leggings for pants and a slick, silver band sits on her middle finger.

What if she consents though... I wonder, rubbing my dic- chin. My chin.

She looks down at me, confused. The girl pokes me in the eye, making me scrunch up my face. I get up, brushing the particles of dirt that had gotten on me. I search her shirt and see her name in bright red. Yurei, huh. I also take the moment to find out her cup size... C, maybe?

"Ohio!" She says cheerfully, "Are you lost?"

"No, no. I'm investigating a possible homicide case," I tell her.

"Ooh, saucy!" She replies, "How can I help?"

"Do you know Devan Srsly? The stripper? He had died recently."

"Rlly? Devan was murdered?" She replies, confused and obviously just hearing about Devan's murder now. I nod. "Chikusho!" she curses, shocked, her previous lighthearted attitude dropping.

"So you knew him?" I gather from her reaction.

"Y-Yeah," she says, still quite shocked, "he was a weeb. He came to the anime store a couple times a week. He was always in the yaoi section. Haha, what a fundashi, such a yaoi addict. I swear he lives off of yaoi. Oh, by the way, my name is Yurei, if you didn't know. My parents named me after the genre of manga. "

"Y-Yaoi? And yeah, I know your name."

"Gay stuff. Like him. W-Wait, how'd you know my name?" I point to her nametag. "Oh... anyways, what do you need to know?"

"Just basic information, what kind of people he hung out with, if he acted strangely recently, stuff like that."

"Loner? I'm surprised, isn't he super cheerful and all that?"

"Not that I know of. All I know is that he always remains quiet in my store, doesn't even attempt to talk to anyone. He always buys these yaoi mangas with intense intercourse that includes odd fetishes. It was weird to look at at first, but I got used to it. He probably was the reason I became interested in yaoi too."

I hum to myself, taking all the information in. The things that Rice had told me and what this girl had said completely contradicted each other. Outgoing, social, and yet quiet and sad? What was going on with Devan?

I thank Yurei, and leave the store, more confused than ever.

~

PinxNote: Haha, haroused...

DevNote: is it bad I'm haroused now??? I swear I'm kidding.

PinxNote: dev please