Atelophobia ✰

Chapter 09

Hey, y'all hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and are ready to start the new year fresh. Make this your year don't hold back. Change yourself if you are not happy with who you are and please live a little more, take risk. Be great. Be you. Be happy.

Chapter 09

Arielle Nelson

A few days had passed since I've talked to Jake, I wanted him to spend his time with his family. He doesn't need to be buried with my problems. He shouldn't even waste his time I thought everything was going just fine until I found myself slowly going back into my old habits.

I've been skipping just a few meals,

just taking a few pills,

no biggy,

there's nothing to worry about right?

I know I brought this up by myself after searching through Facebook. I should've known better. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Once again the nagging voice came again.

lose some weight you fat pig

too big

hideous

you leave the house looking like this, what a shame

not flat enough

One boob is bigger than the other

You still have so many rolls

You're never going to find a boy who loves you especially looking like that

I looked away from the mirror but the voice continued to nag. I walked to my bag and got my little container which contained the few pills I have left and placed one in my tongue and took a sip of water before I laid back down in bed.

One day I will be beautiful.

One day I will not cause so much pain to myself.

One day I will be truly happy.

Until then this cycle will continue.

I heard my phone ring but I made no attempt to answer it, whoever it is can wait. The person on the other line did not get the memo that I was not going to answer because they kept calling over and over again. On the last ring I finally answered the phone "hello," I said tiredly.

"Arielle, what's up? You have been MIA lately, I haven't seen you at school is everything ok?" David's voice said from the other line. I desperately wanted to say "hey David no I'm not fine everything is totally not fine. You are dating Heather when I have this massive crush on you. Oh, and did you know I'm slowly trying to lose some weight in the most dangerous way and I so desperately want you to notice me and like me more than a friend. Bet you did not know that huh?"

Instead, I answered with a "hey, David of course everything is fine. I've just been helping my mom around the house it's just a lot for her to do by herself,"

"I get it it's tough I just feel like we are not as close ever since I've started dating Heather you feel. You hang out more with Jake than me, your best friend. We should catch up, what do you say want to stay in and watch some movies just you and me?" David offered.