To be or not to be? (Book #1)

Chapter 16

"I wish we could stay longer!" Madison said sadly as they packed up the van, signaling that their time at the cabin was over. Ashley nodded, but she didn't really agree. She and Alex still hadn't talked much since their 'almost kiss', and it seemed like he was angry with her about something since New Years Eve. She was ready to go home, and to get rid of the drama that had happened there. She was in love with Alex, she knew that without a doubt, but she knew that he didn't feel the same, obviously, because he was ignoring her and avoiding her at all costs since they had almost kissed. He apparently felt awkward and ashamed of it, so Ashley just gave him his space, not really wanting to talk to him anyway. She had distanced herself from him after actually admitting out loud to Jake that she loved him. She couldn't face him after that, even though she knew he wouldn't care, even if he did know. After packing up, they all piled into the car in their 'designated' seats, the ones they had been sitting in since the beginning of the trip. Ashley and Alex sat as far away from each other as possible, as they normally did now, and Ashley shoved her headphones in her ears, a little annoyed at Alex for ignoring her almost the entire trip. She turned her music on and noticed that she had receieved a text message from Tyler. She hadn't replied to his drunken New Year's eve texts, and he hadn't said anything - until now. She opened his text and read it slowly.

hey ashley, i'm sorry about my new years eve texts... i was drunk... but that stuff i said was true. i hope you know that.

Ashley was fed up. Alex wouldn't talk to her, Tyler wouldn't stop talking to her, she almost kissed another guy at the party, her dads children were due next month, and she really wasn't ready to face any of it once she got home. She replied, anger stirring in the pit of her stomach, typing furiously on her iPhone.

i know you were drunk tyler. what about brianna? i thought you two had a wonderful life together now.

She hit send and waited, breathing heavier than normal, but still quietly so nobody would notice. She locked her phone, and sighed, looking out the window. Her phone vibrated in her hand almost in record time, and she opened the text from Tyler, fuming.

we broke up, ash. i cant be with somebody when im in love with somebody else...

Ashley was angry. Tyler didn't love her, he couldn't love her because if he had loved her, he wouldn't have cheated on her. She was upset, and she felt her heart lurch at the thought of what happened. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and focused on her anger, so that she wouldn't start crying.

you don't love me, okay, i know you don't. if you did you'd actually try a little harder and maybe not make out with the girl i hate.

Ashley pressed send again, waiting for him to respond and taking a few deep breaths. She saw Alex out of the corner of her eye looking curiously at her. She ignored him as Tyler replied and her phone vibrated again.

but i do. and i know that there is absolutely no excuse for what i did. it was stupid and i regret it every day. but i cant help that i love you. and i just wish youd see that.

Ashley grit her teeth and screamed silently. He couldn't think that he would so easily get her back, did he?

you're right. there's no excuse for what you did. there's no forgiving it either. you know i have trust issues.. you know what you did to me.. i can't ever trust you again.

Ashley's breath caught in her throat as the lump grew, making it hard to breathe and making her eyes burn with unshed tears. She locked her phone and looked out the window, begging the tears not to overflow, and hoping he wouldn't reply. To her surprise, he didn't respond, and she closed her eyes after a while and leaned her head back onto the headrest, sighing and letting a few tears overflow silently. After a few minutes, her phone vibrated in her hand. She internally groaned and opened her eyes, unlocking her phone and anticipating a text from Tyler. Instead, it was a text from Alex. She looked at him questioningly, but he was looking at his phone, playing a game. She opened the text and read it.