Love Unexpected (Currently being revised)

August 3rd

Joshua

I went to check on Nevaeh. Now that I've taken my meds and I'm thinking clearer, I feel bad for kidnapping her. I haven't had the chance to check on her since the day before yesterday. I unlocked the door and walked down the stairs. The smell of urine hit me as soon as I opened the door. Damn I forgot I had her tied up so she couldn't get up and go to the bathroom. She looked at me and just turned her head. Damn I fucked her up. I should just let her go. If she presses charges on me all well. I definitely deserve it. "Nev imma uncuff you and imma leave you some clothes down here and some towels so you can clean yourself up. Are you hungry, thirsty?" She looked at me with so much hate in her eyes. She ain't say a word to me. I completely understood why and where she was coming from. So I just went upstairs and grabbed the shit I said I was and came back downstairs. I unlocked her and she snatched the clothes and towel off the end of the bed and rushed into the bathroom slamming the door behind her

I feel bad as hell. Yawl like real bad. It's eating away at me. Nevaeh ain't do shit to deserve this. Yea she told it like it was okay. I needed to hear that shit the way she told it. See man this is why I hate taking my meds. I gotta deal with the aftermath of what I did and the shit is hard to do. I gave her new sheets and a blanket. I brought a fan down to air the room out while she showered. She stayed in the shower for a long time. I know the water had to of gone cold by now. I finally heard her shut it off. So I went upstairs and grabbed the food I made along with some water and left it down then. I went back upstairs and made sure I locked her door back though. I headed to Sutter where Ariel was at. I wanted to see her, apologize for everything I said and did to her. Make things right with the angel who showed me how to love.

August 3rd 2011

Was the day my beloved Grandma Ellestella died. See JamJam came to support me at my basketball game like she always did. Front and center wearing my number 20 jersey. Hooting and hollering cheering me on! We won that basketball game and I was happy. Happy as can be to have my JamJam there. Happy to have made the winning shot and happy to make JamJam proud and I know I was making JoJo proud too.

Grandma wanted to celebrate our victory and go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. I agreed because I LOVED spending time with her. We had a good time. A grand time. JamJam wanted to grab some ice cream from ColdStone since she just loved their ice cream. I agreed because I loved ice cream. But I should've said no because it was pouring down raining. See we got that ice cream and we enjoyed it. It was delectable and we loved it. JamJam was driving us home when a driver ran a red light and came smashing into us. Right on Grandma Ellestella's side. I hit my head and blacked out. When I came to I could see JamJam's beautiful face with blood leaking from her head. She was slumped over the steering wheel the horn blowing the whole time. All I could see was blood on her. I cried out "JamJam get up please!" She moved slightly. But see JamJam was smashed into that steering wheel and there was no hope for her. She was losing blood too fast from everywhere. Internal organs were smushed. I grabbed her hand and with the last of her strength she squeezed my hand. Using every last drop of her breath she pushed out "JuJu I've always been proud of you. JamJam loves you my grandson. You do something good with your life. You hear me. I love you." I could smell gasoline. "I love you too JamJam!" She took her last breath and I screamed and hollered. Tears falling like waterfalls out my eyes. JamJam was no more.

August 3rd

Next thing I know was I was being taking out the car while I screamed at the top of my lungs. "JamJam!!! Don't leave me too PLEASE!" But you see JamJam left already and they got me out the car just in time because JamJam exploded in the fire and her beautiful milk chocolate skin, expressive hazel eyes, long jet black hair was burned.

August 3rd

Ellestella Jamehla Carter was no more. Smashed into the steering wheel and set ablaze by the car exploding in flames. Ellestella Jamehla Carter died on August 3rd and the rest of my heart died right along with her. See I wanted to die too. Mama was gone and now Grandma. Why did they take me out that car? WHY? I was badly injured. Broken ribs and a broken arm with bruises all over me. They healed me but they couldn't heal my soul. I was broken. No one left in this world to love me. No one left to care. All I had left was JamJam with the smile as bright as the sun, long jet black hair, expressive hazel eyes, milk chocolate skin and the voice of an angel was no more. Who would care for me now?

August 3rd

I was no longer JuJu. I was Joshua and I became who you see today. I said fuck the pills and almost said fuck school! But I wanted to make them proud so I finished! I was all alone in this cold cold world. I HATED JamJam because she left me too! So I began to hate all women! Never allowing myself to get close to anyone. Until this beautiful girl came along. This beautiful girl named Ariel! The Angel who taught me how to live again.

August 3rd

See I wanted to live again. I wanted to feel. So I began taking my pills again because of Ariel. She was so beautiful and understanding. She's the only one who knows what happened to me. I was young and I told her everything and she stayed by my side. You see Ariel was just like me. We had the same story so we connected and fell in love but I hurt Ariel and never showed her how much I really loved her because everyone I loved left me! 

August 3rd.