Weight In Gold (Brendon Urie)

The Chocolate Chips

This past week has been very stressful. For me at least. Ryan told Brendon that he was gay on their way home that night, and as expected Brendon was nothing but supportive. Later, he pretended to tell me about it too.

I on the other hand, have done nothing to help my case, and I've acted strange as ever. I know Brendon can sense that something's up, but he hasn't really brought it up. It's been easy to avoid him while we've had school and he's had work, but today is Friday, and he doesn't work. That means I have two and a half days where I can't avoid him, no matter what I do.

We're just about to leave the house for school when my Aunt and Uncle walk downstairs, each with a suitcase in their hand. They then inform us that they're going on a short trip and will be back on Monday night. They hand us each a printed list of things to do and that we should know. Great, I think, just one more way I'll be closer to Brendon.

We each take the lists and head out the door. The drive to Ryan's house takes about 15 minutes, and it's usually pretty quiet. Brendon sings to the radio, I ask a thing or two about the city, nothing too notable. But today when he flicks on the radio, one of my favorite songs come on. It's called The Suburbs. The original is by arcade fire, but this is the cover by a band called mr little jeans. I can't help but sing along.

The song reminds me of the summer right after I turned 14. That was the summer I thought I fell in love for the first time. The boy had a rivalry with my friend group, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything other than me and him.

I've never sang in front of Brendon before, as a matter of fact I don't know if I've sang at all the whole time I've been here other than in choir. Even there, it's with a group. No one has listened to me on my own. I can feel Brendon's eyes on me, witnessing this almost alien act. After the song's over, a different song comes on. I know that he knows it, because I've heard him sing to it before, but his lips don't move. When we pull into Ryan's driveway, Brendon says, "you have a nice voice." I don't have the opportunity to respond because seconds later Ryan is booting me into the back of the car.

School is boring. The same thing happens as the rest of the week. Introductions, little activities, getting followed by the very clingy Allie who has grown increasingly jealous of my friendship with the guys, things like that. I learned that the other boy's name is Dallon, and that the girl that sit's with us is named Linda. They're  both really nice.

After school, Brendon drops Ryan off at home instead of taking him back to the house. Ryan told Brendon that he has a lot of homework, but my theory is that he's trying to see if something will happen between the two of us.

"So, house to ourselves this weekend," Brendon says, awkwardly trying to strike up conversation. "Yup," I reply while looking out the window. "Don't bring over any guys without letting me know first, wouldn't want to have a repeat of the first time we met," he says jokingly. I scoff. "What?" he asks. Ryan was right, he really is clueless. "I'm not going to bring any guys over, Beebo. I promise," I say, trying to be a bit more lighthearted. "Hey, I don't know what you do in your free time," he jokes back. "I think it's you that we should be worried about," I say. "Um, I don't think I'll be bringing any guys over either, unless Ryan counts," he says sarcastically. I roll my eyes. "You know what I meant. If either of us were going to bring someone home it would be you," I tell him. "Oh, don't say that. You're very pretty Ashley, I'm sure you would have no problem getting someone to come back with you," he says, trying to be endearing. "I'm not calling you attractive," I start, "I'm just saying you have an expensive car. Girls like that." I tease. Now it's his turn to roll his eyes. "This car is expensive, and now you can get out of it you ass," Brendon says jokingly as we pull into the garage. I laugh and get out. I don't have my keys, so I wait for him to walk up to the door and unlock it. When he does, I almost immediately go to my room. I'm glad things seem to be a little more normal between the two of us, but I don't want to ruin things, and I'm a little drained from school. I go up into my room and flop on my bed, falling asleep soon after.

When I wake up, it's already 8:30 at night, and I can hear my stomach grumbling. I walk downstairs and go to the kitchen to get some strawberries and chocolate. When I get there, I see Brendon in the same position as the first time I met him: in sweatpants, shirtless, and searching for food. "Coming in," I say as I reach besides him to get the carton of strawberries. I laugh seeing that he has a leftover turkey club, a bottle of rootbeer, a piece of cold pizza, and some coconut curry in his hands and well as a half finished pear in his teeth.

"What's so funny?" He asks, setting his buffet out on the counter. "Your appetite never ceases to amaze me," I tell him. He starts setting out his food and eating it at the counter. I open the cabinet that has the chocolate chips in it, and try to grab them. I discover quickly that I am far to short to reach them. I want to climb up on the counter, but I'm wearing a short skirt and I'm afraid that that could end poorly. I keep reaching when I hear Brendon getting up. "Need some help?" he asks as he walks over to me. "No," I say, determined to get them my own. Brendon ignores my response and reaches up into the cabinet without an issue and grabs the bag for me.

I try to snatch it from his hands, but he reaches above my head before I get them. I furrow my eyebrows at him and struggle to reach the bag. Eventually, despite Brendon's best efforts I get the package back into my hands. I stick my tongue out at Brendon as I start to pour the contents into a bowl. As I'm pouring them out, Brendon pokes me in the ribs, making me laugh and spill half of the bag on the floor. "Why'd you do that?" I ask, frusturatedly. "Hey, I didn't spill nearly an entire bag of chocolate chips on the ground." I can see that he's trying to hold back a laugh while he says that. I try to walk across the floor to get a broom, but I slip over some of the chips which seem to blend in to the ground perfectly. Before my body makes collision with the ground, I feel arms around me.

I look up and see that Brendon's face isn't more than two inches away from mine. My arms are around his neck and his are around my waist. He continues to look into my eyes, before glancing at my lips and looking back at my eyes again. My head starts spinning and thoughts are racing through my mind when his face starts to move closer to mine. I don't have time to think about anything that's happening, and within seconds Brendon's lips meet mine. I've thought about this happening so many times, but not once did I imagine it like this. I don't know if I would say it's a perfect kiss. It was really imperfect if you think about it, but I had lusted after him for long enough that none of that entered my mind while my lips were on his. It was as if my mouth had a mind of it's own, and I didn't have to worry for a second about doing something wrong.

I want this moment to last forever, but of course it doesn't. When we move away, neither of us say a word. After a few seconds, Brendon takes his food upstairs to his room and I finish cleaning up the mess I made, not sure whether the last few minutes were dream or reality.