the aftermath of us ✓

letter two

wednesday 22 (jan)

dear trevor,

we passed each other in the hall approximately four times today. each time was like hell. i tried my hardest not to look at you. i succeeded but my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest. success isn't worth the pain sometimes.

i sat alone at lunch. i usually sit with you and our friends but your presence seemed to take up all the seats. you were alone too, though. it was strange.

i've never seen you look so sad. i don't understand why you're sad; this is what you wanted. that's what you told me, at least. the burst of adrenaline you get when doing drastic things is exciting for the first little while. your mind races and your heart hammers. but once the adrenaline is gone, all that's left is regret.

i wonder if that's what you were left with. maybe you have guilt. or maybe you feel nothing at all.

judging by the way you won't look anyone in the eye and the way your eyes stayed glued to the floor most of the day, you must be feeling something.

granny misses seeing you around the house. i'm convinced that she loved you just as much as i did. remember two christmases ago when you got her a teapot with all her favourite colours on it? she still uses it. it's her favourite, given she only owns two.

she constantly asks about you and i won't lie, it bothers me a bit. but if my granddaughter's boyfriend who was so amazing and funny and intelligent and clever suddenly up and left her, i guess i'd be asking questions too.

it's kinda funny; she asks the questions i don't have the heart to say out loud.

i wish i was more like granny.

love,

leslie

- edited -

a/n: surprise update.
thanks for so much positive
feedback on the first chapter!
im feeling good today.