the aftermath of us ✓

letter three

monday 27 (jan)

dear trevor,

over the last few days, i've seen you hanging out with another girl. amelia, i think. her hair is among the most beautiful i've ever seen and her eyes-- god, they just mesmerize you. whenever you're together, i listen to you two laughing. i watch you stare at her, so focused and intent on hearing every word she says.

i can see why you like her so much. she seems so nice and easy to talk to. i'd say hello but all i'm known as is your ex. i've heard our friends refer to me just as 'trevor's girl' before and that used to make me feel so special and fluttery. but now they say it with pity lacing their tone.

i hate it when people feel bad for me.

i've been going from class to class alone now. it's a terrible feeling when your best friend has suddenly disappeared, leaving you in the dust of a half-assed explanation because all you're left with is questions you're too afraid to ask.

you were my best friend, trev. and now i'm back at square one.

i miss you a lot but if i ever dared to open my mouth, i think i'd choke up and cry. and i know how much you hate it when i cry.

but if you hate it so much, why did you cause the tears?

love,

leslie