heartbeat // zayn malik AU

chapter fifteen

"You won't break my armor.

I will never surrender."

- Hadouken! [Mecha Love]

The walk to the tower of Baille actually wasn't that long, which I was supremely grateful for; I wasn't sure how much longer I could carry around the heavy barzilai sword without my arms falling clean off. Zayn was completely silent through the entire journey, and I felt his tension almost vicariously; it was echoed in the coil of my own muscles, the set of my own jaw.

Every so often, he would glance over at me, as if making sure I was still next to him. Despite my undeniable fear at what we were getting ourselves into, going up against a fierce demon that'd managed to survive when all others of its kind had been wiped out, I felt my cheeks warm whenever I felt him cast his eyes onto me. Viciously, I gave myself a mental kick in the head, telling myself to stop being such a foolish girl. 

We're going to save Astral, remember? The love of Zayn's life?

Except the more I thought about it, the more I questioned it. If Zayn really loved Astral, why did he kiss me? Was he just a fucking douchebag who enjoyed toying with girls' hearts?

Ordinarily, I would easily have classified him as one, and accompanied this declaration by kicking him in the groin.

But with Zayn it was different. The way he kissed me had just been so raw and untethered and... helpless.

Almost involuntarily, I felt my hands clench, tightening around the hilt of the sword till I felt the metal bite into my skin. When I pulled away, there was a blazing red imprint on my palm from how hard I'd gripped the handle, and I thanked God it hadn't been the blade.

Could Zayn feel anything for me? Anything at all?

Throwing a wayward look at the angel by my side, I took in the perfect cut of his facial features, the way the muscles in his back flexed under the thin shirt he wore. I was reminded that he would be wearing a leather jacket, if he hadn't given it to me, and I pulled his jacket closer around my shoulders, breathing in the comforting scent in, the scent that was distinctly minty and sharp and sweet and citrus-filled and just so Zayn.

Lord, I was an idiot.

Here I was, about to go into battle with a demon who'd thrown me off a building the night before.

And I was daydreaming in the soft confines of an angel's sweet-smelling jacket. An angel who was in love with someone else.

Could I get any more pathetic?

"Valarie?" Zayn took a deep breath, his cheeks slightly red--I assumed this was because of the cold air. We'd paused right in front of the tower of Baille, an impressive column of dark gray stone that seemed to scrape the belly of heaven with its austere peak, casting its imposing shadow over the rest of Charoum. I gulped, my gaze straying to the top of the tower, where Astral and Cyphus were being kept, and I felt my stomach plummet to my shoes. I could just imagine Kordin, pacing the halls within, his claws clacking on cobblestones, ready to rip us to shreds as soon as we so much as set foot inside his tower.

"Valarie." Zayn's tone was a little more urgent.

When I still didn't tear my gaze from the tower of Baille, I felt his hand rest gently on my shoulder, tilting me so that I was facing him. My train of thought flitted away in an instant, and I grabbed for it in vain, trying to remember what the hell I'd been contemplating so closely before Zayn had fixed me with those all-too-dark, far-too-rich amber eyes.