heartbeat // zayn malik AU

chapter thirty-one

"I don't care, go on and tear me apart."

- Coldplay [A Sky Full of Stars]

 

Walking into Renee's apartment, my mother was the first person to fall into my line of vision. She was perched on the couch; it looked like she had been watching TV, but now her head was tilted to the side and her eyes were half-closed. I took in her tired appearance, the dark lines of worry and weariness on her face and the set of her thin body, and found it impossible to scrape together enough anger to brush past her. 

I didn't know what exactly had changed inside me. But I did know that if I was going to die, which I was fairly certain I would have to, I didn't want to leave the people I loved thinking that I hated them.

Zayn gave my hand a small squeeze, as if reading my thoughts. I smiled at him gently, then walked over to my dozing mother and pressed a small kiss to her cheek. Her eyes flew open in confusion, but a happy expression flew cross her face when she saw it was me. I felt even more guilty at the joy she showed; was this really all it took to make up with her completely? Why had I been so stubborn all this time?

"Val, I really am sorry," she whispered.

"I know. I am too," I responded, and hugged her as tightly as I could. "But you look tired, Mom. Why don't you get some rest in one of the bedrooms?"

"All right," she murmured, getting to her feet and stretching. "What will you guys be doing?" She arched an eyebrow as she looked between Zayn and I.

The heat rose to my cheeks at her suggestive tone, and I rolled my eyes. "Talking with the others about battle strategies. It's what all the teenagers are doing nowadays, Mom."

"Okay," she said, and then whispered in my ear, "I'm not sure angel-human babies would work out that great again, Valarie, so just be-"

"Mom!" I yelped, flustered. Zayn shot us a curious glance, clearly wondering what all the fuss was about.

Laughing, my mother gave my shoulders a final squeeze. "I'm just saying," she said with a wink, before finally heading off to the farthest bedroom.

Huffing, I ignored Zayn's questioning gaze and marched towards the kitchen, where the others were congregated around the counter on bar stools. Louis stood leaning against the wall, his posture screaming his desire to be anywhere but here. Cyphus and Astral sat elbow-to-elbow, conferring in soft tones. Renee looked distinctly lonely, sitting with her arms folded across her chest and her eyebrows folded into a frown. I made a beeline for her and wrapped my arms around her.

Facing us, she said, "I heard you guys come in, but didn't want to go out and bother you when you were talking to your Mom. Are you okay?" She wanted to know where we'd been and what we'd been doing, obviously, but I was glad she didn't ask out loud. I didn't feel like volunteering the details of Zayn and I's "date" in front of everyone. "I'll tell you later," I mouthed at Renee, and she gave me a knowing nod.

"So," Zayn said, glancing at Louis and assuming a position beside him against the wall. "Has anyone come up with any strokes of brilliance yet?"

"Do we look like brilliant people?" Cyphus answered dryly, running his fingers through his ginger hair and causing it to stick up all over the place.

"You, my friend, look like a relative of Albert Einstein," Zayn replied.

"Gee, thanks. You bear an uncanny resemblance to my neighbor's old dog."

Astral sighed and glared at both of them, nudging Cyphus warningly with her shoulder. "Shut up, you guys. Now's not the time to argue."

"We weren't arguing," Zayn muttered. "Nothing wrong with a little teasing, Astral."