The Big Bang Theory

Mixed 3

Bernadette: Sheldon doesn't know when he's being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.

Spock Doll: What is the purpose of a toy?

Sheldon: To be played with.

Spock Doll: Therefore to not play with it would be...?

Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Wolowitz: I'm so dehydrated. My pee's like toothpaste.

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.

Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.

Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.

Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.

Leonard: Are there any other honors that I've gotten that I don't know about? Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?

Sheldon: Leonard, please don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag co-efficient of tassles on flying carpets.