Letter 15

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Rory,

Okay.

Let's have a baby.

Let's figure out how to raise a kid, make music, go on tour, visit Caleb, not make the same mistakes our parents did, and not lose ourselves in the process.

I don't want to lose you or what we have. I want to become stronger than we have ever been. I want everything with you and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.

It wasn't what Perry said or what Violet said or even what you said that really forced me to stop and think about everything. It was this song that I heard on the radio when I was driving to the store yesterday morning.

It's killing me that I don't know the name of it or who sings it or anything about it. But it was perfect. It was a song that I would have showed you and we would have stared at each other with smiles on our faces because our lives were just changed again by those words.

The song made me think about everything everyone said to me. I thought about how I had to live my own life, about what happened to Caleb wasn't my fault, about how I can be a good mom, about how we can have it all.

Rory, we can.

I want this life with you. I want it more than I have ever wanted anything.

I know it won't be easy. Sleepless nights, tears, and mistakes. But mistakes are okay. And I'm just starting to figure that out.

We don't have to be perfect to have a perfect life. A perfect life is you and this baby, it's Perry, Caleb, and Violet, cold Chinese food and terrible movies, it's music.

A perfect life is whatever the hell we want it to be and I want it to be with you. Flaws and all. I just want you.

I love you,

Stella.

***

So we don't have much more left!!

Three more letters and a couple more chapters.

Thanks so much for all of the support.

It means so so so much to me.

Who else is happy about this letter?!?!

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!

-Brooke

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