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34: Spending Christmas With Stefan

Imagine: You and Stefan both like each other but haven't admitted it. Everybody including you knows and sometimes its awkward to be around him. Lately you have avoided him, trying not to cause any drama. But Damon suggested you spent Christmas with them and at the time you didn't have any problems with Stefan - but now the time had came you did. Today was the day that you joined them, Christmas Eve.

Caroline did a really good job at decorating the Salvatore Boarding house, nobody else had the effort to. Multi-coloured lights hung from the roof and a wreath was placed lightly on the doorknob. It was your first Christmas here, you had moved from Bulgaria roughly seven months ago and the weather was completely different here than it was where you were. But English was in your blood, it was easy to recall but sometimes you struggled. Your accent never left you either. You knocked quietly on the door, stepping back for comfort. As the door opened, you rocked back on your heels.

"Hey, Damon." You greeted him, smiling at him as he gestured you to come inside. You stepped in, feeling the warmth of the radiators around you. Just like home, you remembered. Your first Christmas away from your home was making you homesick but you ignored the feeling.

"Hey, Y/N. Carolines in the kitchen, you may as well join her." He suggested, raising a hand and pointing to the direction of the room even though you knew where it was. But you followed his hand, ending up in a room full of flour, eggs and other substances. You froze in your tracks as you saw Stefan throwing some at Caroline. Jealousy kicked it, coursing through your body as you turned around to head the other way. You swallowed, pacing back towards the house door and picking up your stuff. But then you thought, Stefan shouldn't be able to ruin my Christmas. So you dropped your stuff and headed towards Damon, he was lighting the fire.

"I may as well hang out with you." You told him, placing a log of wood onto the pile. He turned towards you, a confused look spread across his face.

"You're here, you have to face him." He whispered to you, leaning close so only you could hear.

"I just do not want to yet." You reassured him, forgetting parts of your English vocabulary for a second. He smiled, he loved it when you stuttered and he found it cute in a friendly way.

"But you'll have to by the end of today." Damon replied, standing up and handing you the box of matches. You nodded, he was right and the best thing for you to do was let it happen naturally. So you lit the matchstick, watching the flame carefully as it burned towards your finger tips. The light was so hot and welcoming you felt as though you had returned home.

<><><>

"I'll get the door." You yelled to nobody in particular. The doorbell had rung when you were playing cards with Damon, chugging some alcohol down at the same time to keep you from spilling your emotions to anybody that may cross your path. But you was only tipsy. Suddenly you tripped and laughed to yourself before reaching the door. You still laughed once you opened it, until you saw him.

"Stefan," You tried his name on your lips as you looked for words, "This is your У дома - Home, sorry. My English is bad when I am tipsy." You couldn't even look him in the eye, he was not supposed to see you like this.

"Y/N, I haven't seen you in ages." He told you, carrying a bag full of wrapped gifts inside and placing them by the Christmas tree. You gulped, he wasn't supposed to see you full-stop.

"Maybe I should go, Christmas and all." You said, searching around for you bags. Damon caught your eye and shook his head, he would make you stay even if it meant chaining you up. A gust of wind hit the window and you jumped, was there going to be a storm?

"You told us you were spending Christmas-" But you interrupted him awkwardly,

"It was a joke." You muttered, walking back to the table where your cards sat. Suddenly Stefan followed.

"Look, I don't know if this is bad timing but can I speak to you? Privately?" He questioned and you nodded even though you were unsure why. Following him outside, you shut the door behind you. A white substance was falling from the sky and you felt yourself drawn to it. It settled on the ground and you prodded it with amazement.

"What's going on with us, one minute we are speaking and then the next we are not." He told you as you continued to prod the snow with your toe.

"Mhm." You replied, fascinated by the weird crunch it made. Stefan stepped closer impatiently and lifted your head up towards his and suddenly your stomach felt like tumbleweed. You inhaled, shocked.

"Is this why?" He asked, his grip never faltering on your soft chin, "You're afraid that if something did happen between us you wouldn't handle it? The whole world will fall apart, everything you know will change and every belief you have will suddenly become nothing? You're scared that if you let yourself love me then everything else will come crashing down and you don't know if you will survive that?" Your chin began to shake and you realised. He knew everything, he knew that you were hiding from his emotions. You loved life without loving him and you were worried that your love for him with confuse your values.

"I'm afraid that everything will change and I don't know if I want to take that chance. I don't want to feel for you, Stefan but you make me. You make me make choices I don't want to, you make me change everything because of you," You whispered as tears appeared in your eyes. The snow had grown higher and it was floating on to his hair. But you had to leave, follow the path where good never loves bad. You sighed and turn around, tip toeing through the snow as you made your way back to the boarding house. He watched you, he knew that if he let you go then you would be gone for good, he didn't want that. So he sped up to you, grabbing one of your swinging wrists and pulling your towards him as he caught your waist.

"No more pretending." Stefan told you, cupping your face in his hands. He kissed your temple delicately and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel his expressions. For a second his lips hovered over the same area, unaware of what he was doing. Then he kissed the tip of your nose, deciding what he was going to do. You knew what he was heading for you and set your shaking hands on his chest, ready for the moment. But he drew back, unsure if this is what you wanted.

"Stefan," You whispered, your voice light but quiet, "I want this. I want you, I want everything that you own, I want your life and I want you in it. I want you, Stefan." You told him and he did, he kissed you, his hand tumbling through your hair as finally everything was pieced together. He had completed the mess you had created and it was bursting with colour that it filled your world from every inch, you was okay again.

<><><>

The next few days were a blur, you ate Christmas dinner and played charades with the whole squad. You partied and opened gifts but your favourite part of all was stealing stolen kisses with Stefan, you had finally made your way to each other and nobody was getting in your way now.

"I'm going to get a drink." You told everyone, secretly looking at Stefan. He smirked before hiding it behind his lips. The whole group nodded, continuing to play the board game. You rose out of your seat before he spoke up too.

"So am I." But suddenly everybody jerked upwards, realising something. Damon grinned, he had only just noticed.

"Why do you both keep leaving at the same time and coming back at the same - wait are you two together?" Elena questioned you, fiddling with the dice in her hands. It was down to Stefan to tell her, after all she was his ex. He fumbled your the correct words, blinking at you.

"Let's talk after we've got a drink, okay?" He replied, not answering the question. You smiled, walking out of the room and pouring some more bourbon into your glass. Stefan put his glass down and placed his lips on yours, feathery but powerful.

"You finally did it, brother."