Remember me, Justin?

That was all I needed

-Good morning, Lucy! My mum shouted from downstairs. I hurried down to her and brought my backpack with me.
-Morning, mum!
-Any plans for today? My mum stirred around in her warm cup of tea. It looked like grey fog danced out of the cup and up to the roof.
-Not really. What I said was true. I had no idea what I was going to do. Vanessa and Rose had moved from town. They moved to New Jersey or something. It's quite sad actually. We were very good friends and right before we were going to start on high school, their parents split. Poor Vanessa, and poor Rose.

As I have told you before, I have gotten to know everyone in my amazing class. June and Hope are my best friends at the moment since Vanessa and Rose moved. Justin, he is, or we are, or I mean, just forget about it. I'm thirteen now actually. My birthday is tomorrow though, 7th of June, so I'm still twelve . I'm still mad at mum for not letting me invite who I wanted to invite. She is just so freaking bossy!
-But, mum? I tapped at the table with my fingers. Louder and louder I tapped.
-Yeah, Lucy? Anything wrong? My mum looked up and took a sip of her tea. She burned her tongue and sat the cup fast down.
-No, it's not wrong, it's just unfair! Why do I have to invite Justin to my birthday party?
I had gotten it out. I stopped tapping the table. My mum looked at my fingers and then up at me.
-Lucy! Don't make me start again! You can't invite everyone but Justin! Don't you understand that? I thought I taught you to be nice to other people? My mothers face turned red and she took another sip of her tea. She burned her tongue again and her body made a quick move, which made her spill the tea on her dark blue shirt.
-Fuck! Aaah! My mum threw the cup at the table, but just as light as it still stood and didn't break when it landed.
I went upstairs again, with light steps. I didn't want her to get mad at how I walked too. I opened my bedroom door and sat down at my bed. Thoughts ran threw my head and I realized what she meant. Of course I understood what she said to me. I knew that I had to invite Justin, but I just didn't want to. I was so embarrassed. I mean, last time I even spoke to him, I broke up with him too. I have ignored him on school. I have scheduled everything, so I know that we will never meet. But it was this one time, when he was ill and had to go home. We met in the hall at school and we talked a little. He told me he missed me...
A tear slipped slowly down my cheek. I wanted to take everything back. I wanted to take everything I had said to him back. Take every bad word into my mouth again. I wanted my words to disappear. I didn't deserve a guy like him. I know I am a child, but he is so kind. His smile, his hair. He's everything to me, but he's not mine anymore.
When we stood there in the hall, I just looked at him. I liked that he wanted me. I liked to be like that. I liked to be loved, without showing love back. I just felt so powerful.

*FLASHBACK*
Justin walked up to me. He looked good, even though I knew he was ill and of course he was sad. I mean, I broke up with him three weeks ago. I would have been sad too.
-Lucy! Wait! Justin yelled. He was a lonely bird with a broken wing, and I was a strong eagle with a golden beak.
-What is it, Justin? I turned around slowly, like I didn't care. I liked that he liked me, and that I ruled over this relationship. I was popular now too actually. All the girls wanted to know why I broke up with him. I lied. A lot. But Justin lies too! Everyone lies? So why can't I lie?
-Lucy, just listen. Justin took his cap off and looked beggingly into my eyes.
-Lucy, sweet Lucy! I miss you, can't we get back together? He leaned in and closed his eyes. His lips formed a circle and he came closer and closer to me. A tear ran down my cheek and I wiped it away in the same move as I slapped him. I slapped him. I slapped him! I slapped Justin! I slapped Justin's cheek!
-Leave me alone, freak! I ran away and into class to get my backpack. I didn't look behind me. I just ran. I just ran home. I ran home and started writing. Started writing my very first song actually. I love writing and playing piano. So I just made up a song and added beats that fit to it. I didn't care about Justin. I was popular and that was all I needed!
*END OF FLASHBACK*