Remember me, Justin?

We are golden

I had to pick out a dress! It was so difficult to choose. I laid all my dresses down on my bedroom floor. I scratched my head and got lost in my own thoughts while looking at them.  A picture of me and Justin showed up in my mind. I was wearing a long golden dress and he was wearing a suit with a golden tie. He looked so handsome where he stood. Beside me, his hand on my hip.. We looked older and I looked more mature. I wanted to be like that, mature. I wanted to know that I couldn't hurt Justin again. That I would understand what was wrong and what was right. But I wasn't mature. I was young and weak. I had broken up with a boy who was so kind and humble and didn't do anything to deserve it. I even made him feel bad for it. For not AGREEING with me! I was so selfish!
I felt the tears inside me build up. I was a volcano right about to explode. I was a silent volcano though. An underwater volcano with water instead of lava. And a volcano like that can't hold the water inside itself for a long time. It's better letting it out now when no one is here, than letting it out when people can see.

Blubber was all my body was made of. Tears came down both my cheeks like giant rivers. It continued until I found a door. A door that opened up a way. A way out of my thoughts.
I have to buy a golden dress. Justin, I mean, I love golden dresses! It would be perfect!
I ran downstairs while I found a picture of a golden dress.
-I want this mum, can I please have it? Mum was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. She turned around and patted at the empty space beside her. I smiled and sat down with her. I really wanted this dress, I wanted to impress Justin, I still liked him, or I think. And I hurt him. A lot..
I showed mum the picture.

-Can I go buy this mum? I know where I can buy it. I saw it in that shop at Shimmy Street. My heart beat faster and faster when I heard her answer.
-No, Lucy. You have enough dresses. Mum picked up an old newspaper that was laying on the table in front of us. She began to read it like I wasn't even there.
-That's just so SELFISH...I'm sorry mum. My heart beat slower and slower and a tear fell down from my eye.
-Lucy, it's okay! You can buy a dress some other time, my mother said, and now she was looking at me.
-No, mum! I'm sorry because I treated you bad! I treated my class badly. I was selfish, not you. It was like my brain changed and I got back to who I was before I met Justin. I realized that I had finally become that girl who had two parents. Finally I felt whole. I hadn't felt that in a very long time. I had felt love of course and I was lucky to be as rich as I am and to have the chance to go to school. But I haven't felt that lucky since dad... Since dad left and went to a better place. I still miss him though, but now I realized that I actually can be happy without him too!
He would be proud. He would have wanted me to be happy and live a happy life. I mean, I was.... A shy tear rolled slowly down to my pink lips and I licked it with my tongue. It tasted very salt.
It reminded me of that day by that salt lake. Me and my dad were fishing and I got my very first fish. I think I was about 7 or something. His voice, his smile that day... I will never forget that. He smiled at me and said the sentence that makes my heart break whenever I hear it... He said he was proud of me, but that he wasn't surprised that I got a fish. He said:- You're Daddy's girl, right? We are golden. We are the best family aren't we? We will always be together no matter what, and that's a promise!
I stopped thinking about my dad, I knew I would get sad, so I focused on my mum's calm voice. Tomorrow it's my birthday, so I've decided that tomorrow, I will NOT cry and I will have the best day of my life!

-I'm glad you figured yourself out, sweetheart. I think it's about time you apologize to everyone you think you hurt. Especially Justin.
My mum winked at me and said:- So let's go buy that dress, shall we? She stood up and motioned towards the front door.
-WHAT? Oh my! Thank you so much! I hugged my mum so tightly, she had to ask me to let go. I was so happy. Not just because I got the dress, but because I figured out how to fix my life. And I figured out that I have the best mum in the entire world!