My Perfect Mistake

Chapter Four

The sound of Adam's voice wakes me, “How are you feeling?”

                I turn to look at him, “Okay.”

                “Are you sure? Because it looks like you’ve been crying, and I don’t want my girl in pain. I can get you some aspirin and some water, or whatever you need.” I sit up and put my arms around him. I bury my head into the curve of his neck and cry my heart out. While he rubs my back he says, “Baby, tell me where it hurts and I’ll make it better.”

                After a few minutes of crying I pull away and look at him. “I’m not in pain, I promise,” I sniffle.

                “Then why are you crying?”

                “Because I'm mad at myself, I regret my decision.”

                “Honey, don’t worry we can always have a baby later on down the road, okay?”

                I look in his eyes for a moment, capturing his affection. “That’s not what I regret. What I regret is not getting it done.”

                “Wait, you didn’t get it done?”

                “I’m so sorry Adam,” my eyes start to water again. “I don’t know what happened. I was doing fine then all of a sudden I freaked out. I’m really sorry. I plan on going back in a few days, I promise. Then this can be taken care of for good. I’m really, really …” I keep babbling till he puts his lips on mine.

                “Sorry but you wouldn’t shut up,” he smiles. I look at him, happy that he’s not mad.  He wipes the tears running down my face, “I’m not mad. I told you that you didn’t have to have to do it. To be honest I’m glad you didn’t do it.”

                His words hurt me more. “Don’t say that. You don’t want this,” I say knowing that he wouldn’t want this if he knew the truth.

                “Of course I do. I love you and the baby,” he put his hand on my stomach.

                The moment he did the guilt hit me harder than it ever had. I wanted to tell him but I know that if I did I would lose him and I need him now, possible more than ever. “If you do you shouldn’t.”

                “Why shouldn’t I? You’re everything I want in a girl and more,” he kisses my forehead as he takes his hand off my stomach.

                You want a girl who cheats and get knocked up, is that what you really want? I’m tempted to say but know I shouldn’t. I try to smile but just can't. “Just know you shouldn’t.”

                “Why? You’ve never given me a reason not to.”

                Not yet. “I’m really not in the mood for this right now.”

                “Then what are you in the mood for?”

                “I’m in the mood to cuddle back into bed and cry till I run out of tears.”

                He gets under the covers and lies down. “Come here baby, let it all out.”

                I join him and soak his shirt in my tears.

Around nine I wake up surrounded by Adam arms. I look up at him and see him fast asleep. I kiss him once and watch him. After a few minutes I snuggle into him, accidently waking him. “How are you feeling?” he asks looking at me.