Despondency

Chapter 37

Alpha Mikhail could still feel the fury in his veins. She had almost given her virgin self to that kinky prick.
Riley marched away on his orders happy to make Jordan leave under his own capable supervision.
"We are going to have a long talk at my cabin." He ordered. He would address her almost romp in the forest after he had straightened out her misconceptions. He started to march away.
She hadn't moved a muscle, was she angry for breaking the two up? He pretty much saved her from abuse.
He sent some orders out in his head.
"Do you want to have our chat here?"
She looked fearfully back at him. What for?
"No,"
"Then I'll take you back to my cabin and then we can talk like decent wolves."
"O-okay, please you have to understand-" She was hysterical, almost to the point of tears. Real tears.
"I do understand, you wouldn't even have to say it."
He had no idea what he himself meant by that. Fighting was his element. Understanding actions and emotions... He was not talented in that area.
He only saw his mate twice before rejected her, but he had fully believed the moon goddess was out to get him with all the negative attention he got. All the times he could have been found out...
He held her hand behind him and pulled her urgently along the forest path. He had been so uprooted when Riley mind linked him and told him how his sister had disappeared with Jordan. He still had a slight headache from how piercing and panicked his Beta had been. To see them in the distance, him stripping her and almost taking her was too much. He wanted his mate so badly after realizing it was her.
It took a hell of strength to fight down his own dirty thoughts about her. He had almost torn Jordan in two pieces as well as fucking his new mate.
"You know..." he broke the silence between them. "Jordan is a dangerous man. You've strayed too close to him." She tried to push down the redness threatening to take over her already inflamed face.
"Strayed?"
"Yes, strayed." He let silence drop between them, allowing birds in the forest and rustling undergrowth speak for a while.
"What did you mean? Back there you said I was under your care."
"I'll explain in a moment, darling."
She felt her heart skip a beat when he called her that. How was he so romantic while just talking?
He laughed loudly.
"I'm just a romantic by heart I guess." His lopsided grin flashed back at her.
She was mortified. She hadn't even felt her lips move.
They had moved out of the trees with his cabin just ahead.
He opened a cabin door and held it for her. His scent surrounded her. It was mouth watering and masculine. His smell had a twinge of sharp spice in it. She turned expectantly to him.
"Your name." Mikhail demanded. He wanted to test her honesty towards him.
"Walls have ears."
Mikhail took a menacing step toward her before pulling her tight against his chest. His broad, flat, firm and delicious chest. She felt hot just thinking about him shirtless. Like in her dream... she flushed.
"Whisper then"
He bent his tall frame to meet her height.
"You'll have to pry it out." A low growl followed. She held it back before another one could race through her. Mikhail carefully concealed his own burst of mixed emotions.
"I can try. How about that?" He let a cruel grin slip into his face. It was small, but it was there. Her growl was just so sexy.
"I can't let anyone know. If they know me I'll never see him again. My mate is an omega..." she turned her face away in slight shame. Confessing to an Alpha that an omega rejected you was a fierce blow to her womanly pride.
"So?" The alpha masked indifference, fully knowing that it was him. That the woman before him was his. He could feel it. He just needed one bit of assurance.
"He can't fight against Constantin! He'll be tortured, killed! I have to protect him some how." she started to violently shake from the memories that swiftly undid the locks in her subconscious and freely flowed without concern of the damage they were causing.
"Slow down, it's okay."
"All that I ever found out was that Riley saw him, he slept around and the ocean. I'm so close he's got to be somewhere!"
"I can't help you until I know your name." he shoved down his own guilt after he saw her face contort sharply. He had done that to his true mate. Why didn't she reject him before?
He could see that she wasn't lying. Not one bit. Her mate had been such a prick. He had been such a prick.
"What did you mean?" She changed the subject. Why had she told him all those personal things? "About me being under your care?"
Lie. His wolf seemed to growl.
"You're given to me by your brother. He wanted to make sure that you were safe."
Dammit.
"No, I have to find. Him, please." Her small hands bunched his sweaty t-shirt on his pecks. He would have loved it in different circumstances.
"Your name."
"Aiyana."
"Aiyana, he's dead." It was slightly true. The man he was died and was reborn as an Alpha. Then why did he feel such guilt for his swift and cruel words?
Her entire body froze. She dared not move or speak. A low whine escaped her lips.
"What...?" Her body still stood frozen, complete silence around the room.
"Was he at the Challenge of the mates?"she pushed her arms straight out to stare into his eyes.
"How, the connection between us faded only a month or so ago..."
Mikhail pulled her gently back to his chest.
"Was he at the challenge of the mates?"
"No, no no..." she just kept repeating the words under her breath over and over. Tears streamed down her cheeks from the dark shades. It wasn't possible. Her mate had passed on? Why didn't the moon goddess tell her?
"There is only one accounted survivor. All the rest of the bodies were found and identified by their packs."
It was heart wrenching to find out she could have seen him. She could've talked to him and the moon goddess never told her. Anger pulsed through her. Anger at the goddess was an emotion she had never felt. She pushed it to the side and instead mourned for Vitally. Had he died thinking of her? When he died she surely would think of only him. He was probably watching her grieve over him. They were kept apart by such foul reasons. Could he forgive her if she remated?
No, Never would she mate.
"I'll never love again." She cried.
"He rejected you."
"But I loved him for years before and after I did meet him. You can't understand, I used him as my rock, my soul purpose to live and beat Constantin for almost 18 months." He pulled away and looked at her. 18 months didn't fit his timeline.
"What pack was he in. I need to know. What pack has his body..."
He frowned.
"I don't know your mate or his pack, but believe me, he's gone."
She turned her back to him. A pitiful sight really, but it hurt.
"Aiyanna, how old was Riley you when you went to the challenges?"
"19." She muttered with her brows furrowed.
"Riley's 23 now... you've been gone for four years..."
"What?" She stared openly at him. She only had access to the time through the sun and seasons...
"That's would make you 19..." he frowned. His 25 compared to 19 is quite the jump.
Was she mad? Had she lost a bit of her mind with her mate? It's not uncommon. Still, she wanted to cry out at her cruel fate. The loss of her mate made her insane.
"I've moved you into the next room so that my Beta has his personal space and bed back. His health is optimal importance... and so is your safety.
Tears still fell from her dark glasses.
"I'll give you some time alone." He turned but looked back at her. He wanted to say so much more. Things had to be thought through first.
He took in her fragile frame. How she curved delightfully in toward her waist. She had a healthy plumpness to her figure and lips. And her hair, god her hair. It hung with large sweeping waves, two or three, past her waist and hung at the top of her womanly ass. Her hips were wide, perfect for child bearing. The only thing that he was grateful for covering her was the shades. He wouldn't have been able to look into the eyes of an honest woman and tell her that her other half, her own reason to live, had been extinguish while she wasn't looking. He couldn't have looked into his mates eyes without feeling the guilt of throwing his own away. The regret of drinking that vile. The upmost sorrow of another painful line tumbling from his lying lips. He turned away, escaping the cracks in his heart. He was grateful that the glasses hid much of his own features from her eyes. He could not stand if she saw past his facade.
"How..." Her crestfallen voice asked.
Sadness slipped into her bones. Her very soul crying out despondently in one call toward him. She was so sad and heavy. "How do you know?"
"I was there." She peered through the dark lenses of her glasses at his murky features. She wanted to properly search his eyes for a lie. Any hint of a lie so that she could hold onto her only hopeful thought. He carefully closed the door behind himself.
She watched him go, the lump in her throat preventing her from letting anything less than a sob leave her. She just wished that some one, anyone who was there, would hold her together while she fell apart.
Vitally was dead. She had been trapped by Constantin for four years. She was 19, and she felt achingly old.
In one day she lost hope and the will to live. The only reason she didn't take away her own life, was because she knew she could still do something. She could destroy Constantin. If her eyes, saw the light in his murdering gaze diminish, she could die peacefully to meet Vitally.
But first she needed to go where the sea was warmer. Where a familiar beach cooed to her in her dreams. She just had to know if Vitally had any chance to escape. How could the visions she placed so much faith in be false?
She slowly sank to the ground, not in despair, but in thought. She had to go to where she felt the moon tell her. She couldn't keep herself in such pain, not knowing if the moon had lied to make her sane.