Even though I'm on my own, I know I'm not alone..

Nine.

//Sorry I haven't updating been going thru a rough time.\\

Days, weeks, months maybe? I didn't keep track on how long I had crashed for.. I never left the house anymore, fuck I'd be lucky if I left my room. I just lay there looking at the detail of the wallpaper on the ceiling it seemed to be the only intresting thing in my life. Day after day I had been trying to take my own life, yet failing as I'm a failure at everything.

All of a sudden my phone was spammed with notifications. I had been added to a group chat. I was gonna leave but there was someone in the chat that I didn't know, we started talking and we had a lot in common. We both had an interest in  Ed Sheeran. We talked more and more, both able to help each other with our problems I helped her get over her ex and she.. she genuinely made me smile. I was so shocked as I hadn't managed that in a long time.. 

As the days went by I started to develop a crush on her. She seemed so perfect to me. I couldn't think of a reason to not like her she was so cute she had short chocolate brown almost black hair  swept to the side of her face just showing her beautiful green eyes. Her smile was charming to me she called fang as her teeth are like a wolf's fangs which I love. She always wore this royal blue hoodie with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the hood was always up. She'd wear a plain white t-shirt under it and a black pair of skinny jeans and black and grey DC stars. She dressed like a guy so people wouldn't think she's a girl. I don't know how but just hearing her name put a smile on my face. We talked every single day and we'd call occasionally.. one time I called her and her girlfriend answered and started yelling at me down the phone I freaked out and had a panic attack the voices came and agreed with her. I hung up and cried. I was so confused yes I liked her but I wasn't doing anything.  I messaged her and said I was sorry. A few days later they had broken up. Fang was upset and wanted to give up she was threatening her life. I knew I couldn't loose her she was the only person i had. I told her I loved her. She was shocked she had no words. I told her I needed her and I wouldn't be here with out her. I convinced her to stay strong and then.. I asked her out, I had never asked anyone out before. She said yes. I couldn't believe it  14/6/16 was my luckiest day of my life.