Talking to the Moon ✔

-Chapter: Twenty Seven-

I found myself wandering the hallways of the residential palace aimlessly. The quiet of the night calmed me down and I could not help but peer from each window that I passed to stare at the dark sky. I missed my village and the freedom my little terrace gave me. I could not help but feel confined to this palace even though no one had ever told me stay behind the walls at all times.

If this was how I felt, I wonder what the Monarch felt.

Monarch Qamar – he made me feel all sorts of things. I felt anger, betrayed and rejected. Sometimes, I could not even distinguish between his feelings and mine. I had no reason to be angry at Omar yet I could not help but feel enraged and disgusted by his action. But were those really my emotions?

It was almost as if there were two beings within me and both of them wanted to control me.

"Lady Ayah!" I heard someone call and then shake me, I blinked at the guard that suddenly materialized in front of me, "Are you all right?"

I was confused but I nodded in answer.

"You should not be here..." I looked around myself and was surprised to find that I was in the third floor.

Why? What was this pull that drew to me to the Monarch? Why was I not able to think whenever anyone mentioned him?

"Do you want me to escort you back to the chambers, Miss?" The Guard spoke loudly this time and I wanted to point it out to him that I was dumb not deaf.

But another part of mind was questioning the reason behind me getting annoyed so easily. I never did.

I stared at the guard and then pointed at the door to the Monarch's chambers. Something told me that I should be there. Maybe I would find the answers to my new questions. Why couldn't all answers be fulfilling? Why did answers always lead to new questions?

"You want to meet the Monarch?" He looked at me wide eyed, "After what he did to you?"

I nodded and ran a conscious hand around my neck. The Monarch had choked me, yet, I did not really feel cross with him. It did not even bother me. It was something that I had forgotten. Was I so forgiving?

"Prince Omar did instruct us to not deny any of your requests but..." The Guard hesitated, "are you sure?"

I was not so I shrugged. I was trying to keep my head clear and my actions honest. This was a mental exercise. I was hoping to figure out what was wrong with me.

"Come with me, lady," The Guard turned and started walking. I followed him blindly. What was I doing? I should be sleeping. My brain and my body needed the rest, but here I was, trying to get myself killed again!

I did not even realize that I was walking to the Monarch's room in sleeping robes or that I had deep dark circles under my eyes. I did not even realize that my neck was blue-green in color thanks to the Monarch. My instincts had overpowered my mind and I did not know whether that was right or not. On part of my mind kept doubting my every action but another kept telling me to do it. It was confusing and tiring. I could feel a headache emerging and my body craved for the comfort of my bed.