A couple times this year in school, a couple of my teachers said "You're going to be parents soon." When I heard that, that made my anxiety skyrocket! It really bothers me how people say that. Especially, my teachers. I seriously don't have to feel obligated to have children, just because I'm a woman. One of the main reasons why I don't want kids is because I grew up with a horrible childhood. Well, it really wasn't that horrible (I may be exaggerating a bit), but my mother was tearing our family apart. I grew up in a toxic family environment (my mother was the main source of all of the problems in our home.) She would drink alcohol in front of me and my sister, smoke cigarettes, work late shifts at McDonald's (which was draining her of energy), and she would never act her age and she'd constantly swear.
At the end of November 2014, my mother had to leave us for a very good reason. My dad said that it would be best for her to leave since she wasn't being a good and supportive mother. I never liked her at all.
Another reason why I don't want to have kids is because of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have been through a lot of traumatic experiences in my life and they've changed my life (in a negative way). I've been through a lot of pain and fear and change and everything happened so quickly.
To me, these sound like legitimate reasons why I don't want to have children. Like I said before, I've already been through a lot of change and pain and loss in my life. And it's really not fair when other people say that you are going to become a parent. Those people can't make your decisions for you. Only you know what's best for you.
And I know what's best for me. Not having kids.
Instead of having children, I want to raise animals. I want to live somewhere near the country, but close to a city or town, and I want to have a house with a great big backyard, where there's wide open space (lots of fields), and I want to raise goats, and own a couple of cats (because who doesn't love cats? 🐱)
I want to raise and take care of these beautiful animals with a kind and caring husband (hopefully I meet someone who is asexual) and I don't want to have children at all. I want to live a quiet and peaceful life.
Doesn't that sound like a wonderful life?
