Family of two

3 - First night

Finally home!

Home meant the three room flat he had chosen for himself once he had become leader. Upon entering Eric stood immediately in the living room with an open kitchen at the right side. At the left corner in the back was an opening which led to the bedroom and the bathroom, where as a spare room was located next to the kitchen. Eric had painted the living quarters in crème-white while his furniture was of a dark brown wood with a dark red colored couch. After moving in he had considered a white and black style but quickly dismissed it as being too much like Candor. Next he had considered grey and black but decided he wouldn't feel at home in such colors. In the end he had decided on the warm crème-white to represent the stone-walls close to the chasm and for the furniture on a dark shade of brown because it was dark enough to be dauntless and still made him feel welcome. There were also some well filled bookshelves with a mix of fictional and non-fictional books, showing his Erudite heritage. He had decorated his walls with old pictures of Chicago, curtsey to the Erudite archive.

With a relieved sigh Eric closed the door to his apartment, went straight for the couch and settled down, shifting Teddy so he'd sit beside him. He was sure Teddy would break down any time now.

"He, Teddy. We are at mine now. No more strangers." Eric removed his jacked off the boy while trying to catch his mood.

"They are dead." Teddy sniffed. "Mama and Papa."

Eric started to run cycles on Teddy's back in hope to calm and comfort him. He didn't know what to say to the boy. Neither his Erudite-upbringing nor his training as a Dauntless leader had prepared him to handle grief. Eric clutched his hands to fists to get a hold on the rage that tried to take over. He longed to beat something or even someone to a pulp. If one of the attackers were still alive he sure knew how to interrogate them. Today he had failed to protect Ethan, after all these years he had failed! All the work, all the effort he had put into being a leader and protecting the people of this city and he had failed Ethan. And Abigail. And Teddy, who'd grow up without his parents. Rage was steadily consuming him. Rage against the factionless, rage about his failure. Failure was not an option, it always left him unsecure, an emotion he hated. Tight up with all this wrath, he had no outlet for, Eric sprung to his feet without realizing his actions, pacing the floor angrily, leaving Teddy alone, frozen by this eruption, following his movements wide eyed. It must have been the last straw for the little guy, since Eric hadn't quite reached the other side of the living room, when he heard Teddy brake down in convulsive sobbing.

'Fuck!' Eric cursed as he rushed back to pick the sobbing boy up in his arms, before he continued to walk the floor, while desperately working on nocking his rage and fury back, locking it up in order to be able to focus on his responsibility to Teddy. He took the back rubbing back up again.

Not often in his life had he felt so helpless and so awkward and Eric desperately wished he had more experience with children. Looking down at Teddy he felt the impact of the responsibility his friend had entrusted him with. If only he had a clue what to do and how to address Teddy. From his own childhood he clearly remembered the neglect and the carelessness with which he parents had regarded him. Perhaps he should take it from there and try to be a better father by doing the opposite of what his parents did, meaning to assure Teddy right from the beginning of caring for him and being his first priority. Eric hoped, that he could find the right way to show it, since he was well aware that he wasn't very good at showing his emotions.

His pacing had subdued to walking and Eric settled them both back at the couch, this time allowing Teddy, who was still crying unrestrainedly, to sit on his lap. As uneasy as Eric was feeling with a crying child in his arms, as eased was he at the same time, that Teddy was able to let go and hugged the Ethan's son tighter to his chest. As a chill had had sometimes observed parents rocking their small children when they cried and decided to give it a try. Eric himself was torn between rage, tenderness, grieve, helplessness and doubting himself as a father. All these emotion consumed him and unknown to him, he also took comfort in the little guy's hugs. When Teddy's subs started to subside, Eric lent back on the couch with Teddy on top, covering them both up with a blanket from the armrest. Shortly after, he felt Teddy going complete limp in his arms, passed out from exhaustion. After some time, when he was sure, that Teddy was now deep asleep, he carried him to the bedroom, took his shoes off and stripped him to his underwear to get him more comfortable, awkwardly trying carefully to somehow pull Teddy's limp arms out of the sleeves without waking the boy. Tomorrow he needed to go get new clothes and other things for Teddy. As gently as possible he tucked the boy under the sheets and then contemplated whether he should close the door or not, before he decided to leave it ajar, so Teddy wouldn't sleep in complete dark and he could hear easier if something was up.