i want to be me not your puppet

chapter 8 i cant believe i just said that.

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"alex...alex wake up"someone shook my shoulder waking me.

"what now"i mumble

"your going to be late for school"colts voice reminds me of where iam i sit up quickly.

"what am i going to wear to school!"is the first thing out of my mouth.

"uh...you can borrow some of my clothes?"colt says unsure.

"no i cant then everyone will think we...ya'know"i wave my hands about getting frustrated.

"fine then i'll get dressed take you home you get changed then i'll take you to school or i'll drop you off outside so then you dont even have to be seen with me" colt says pushing the covers off standing up.

"why wouldnt i want to be seen with you? thats not what i ment-"i try telling her

"its fine alex who would want to be seen with a used to be"colt cuts me off in a hard voice

"your not a used to be. you'll get back to playing soon"i try to reasure her but she just shakes her head walking into her bathroom. i hear the shower turn on. "watch you dont get that sling thing wet!"i shout through to her. i stand starting to get dressed.

*Colt's p.o.v*

i walk back into my room drying my hair with a towel only wearing my boxers and a sports bra. i walk over to my closet.

"ugh do you have to walk round half naked all the time"i hear alex groan making me jump i completely forgot about her.

"uh yeah actually i do...cause im hot."i answer pulling out a pair of jeans i throw my towel at her before putting my jeans on grabing a shirt i button it up as i turn round.

"your still angry and its getting quite annoying now...your wearing that to school?" alex says as i put the stupid sling back on.

"i have a right to be angry. and no im not cause im not going to school"

"no you had a right to be angry yesterday and last night but todays a new day so smile...but you have to go to school"

"yeah well why dont you give me a new shoulder to go with the new day and i'll think about being happy and i am going to school...im dropping you off there remember"i grab my phone taking it off charge. i grab my ipod puting the earphone wire up my shirt putting one in my ear. i press play and guess what song plays...bad karma by ida maria (A/N songs on the side) i shake my head but leave it to play.

"you know what i mean right...please come to school with me? and if you dont it will make you look weak like your...scared or maybe you really are scared"alex smirks tilting her head to the side

"im not scared of anything or anyone...fine i'll go but anything annoys me and im out of there...and im not weak either!"i snap at her. "now get up iv got to take you home" i watch as alex stands looking at her phone

"whoa 21 missed calls...from dad"she presses a button putting the phone to her ear..."dad? what is it?"..."is she.." "okay i'll be there as soon as possible"she hangs up the phone "colt i need you to take me to the hospital now" i looked at her confused but nodded walking out my room we ran down stairs.

"colt! you bet-"dad went to shout at me but stopped when he saw alex. "oh uh hello i dont believe we have met im joshua black you are?"my dad asks in a nice voice dad might have been hateful towards me but when it came to people outside his family he was all happy and nice.

"um im alex bradley i would stay and talk but ive got to go to the hospital excuse me"alex rushes out before running out the house to my car

"We will talk about this later"my dad practically growls at me. i turn my back on him slaming the door shut as i run to my car.

"you gonna tell me what happened?"i ask as i drive.

"its my mum she took a turn for the worst early this morning and...the doctors dont think she will make it through today" alex answers her voice cracking as she trys holding back her tears. i didnt know what to say so i just drove in silence. when we arrived at the hospital i couldnt find any where to park to i drove round the front.

"go i'll wait"i say alex throws herself out the car running into the hospital. i final found somewhere to park but i didnt get out the car. there was a part of me saying 'go help her through this she needs you' but there was also a part saying 'start the car and drive this isnt your problem your getting in to deep she doesnt need you she never will just leave' and i didnt know what part to listen to...my heart which was tell me to go get her or my head which was telling me to run. "oh fuck it"i grumble getting out my car. i found the room that she was in last time but i didnt go in i stood at the window looking.

alex was holding her mothers hand her father hand his hand on her back i watched as he nodded to the doctor who then touched something then...the beeping started. her mother was dying. her mother was dead. alex turned into her dad hugging him tightly. 'i should leave' i turned round to leave and alex must have noticed me cause she came rushing out the room and stood in front of me.

"alex i-"i started but she slapped me snapping my head to the side i look back at her shocked.

"this is all your fault! i if i had just been here to say one last goodbye instead of being with you because of your stupid problems no wonder your parents hate you. you destroy everything."alex shouts at me making me step back

"i cant believe you just said that"i breath out it felt like she had just punched me taking all the air out of me. it just hurt more because it was her that said it...my pain quickly dissapeared as i let my anger take over

"your blaming me because your so fucking needy that instead of being with your dying mother that you chased after me. well fuck you alex i bet your mother is glad she doesnt have to put up with you anymore cause i sure as hell am"i say coldly watching her face pale the tears freezing she stared at me shocked as i pushed her out the way.

walking to my car i could already feel the regret and guilt setting in as my anger was fading. 'i cant believe i just said that to her'

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i know its short but im already working on the next chapter but im feeling happy so it didnt quite fit the story haha

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