i want to be me not your puppet

chapter 10. is that really you?

==================================================================================

*Colt's p.o.v*

i walked up to the door not caring about the rain anymore. i knocked on the door bag slung over my shoulder. someone finally unlocked the door pulling it open.

"oh colt honey come in"helena said pulling me into the house. "henry!"she calls throught the house taking my bag off me as he comes jogging through. looking shocked.

"colt look at you. your all wet and cold. we better get you a nice warm bath. martha!"he shouts a woman in her thirtys walks through. "run my neice a bath make sure its boiling hot"henry tells her she rushes up stairs quickly. helena and henry taking me up behind her slowly. walking into a massive bathroom the bath looking more like a big kids pool.

"um...why dont you have a nice long bath take as long as you like and there are some clothes laid out in the room across the hall and when your ready you can come talk to us down stairs."helena tells me looking extremly concerned. i nod slowly the two of them walking out the bathroom leaving me alone.

i slowly took my soaking clothes off dropping them in a pile in the corner. i climbed into the bath enjoying the relaxing burn of the water but the numbness was still there. i stayed in the bath until the water was almost cold. when i stepped out the bath i was expecting to feel the relaxing cheerful mood i usually do but this time i felt nothing i felt like i wasnt really there like someone else was controling my body and i was just standing there watching. i couldnt understand why. id donly know alex for a couple weeks but thoughs weeks ment everything to me without me even realising and she just left. just like that like i didnt even matter to her when she ment everything to me.

i wrapped one of the fluffy towles round me and crept out the bathroom and in to the room across the hall. i looked onto the gigantic bed to see some of my uncles cloths lying there. atleast they know me enough to know i wouldnt wear a dress. there was a pack of boxers ovbiously new so i sliped a pair on. i put my uncles trousers on with a belt to stop them falling down the only thing missing was a bra shrugging my shoulders i put the white shirt on rolling the sleves up and finally put socks on. i looked towards the door but i didnt move towards it.

i couldnt. if i walked out there then i was walking out to reality and in reality everything had changed and for once it wasnt in my favor. i wasnt at home anymore i knew my aunt and uncle wouldnt leave me alone like my 'parents' had and ...i didnt have alex anymore. its funny. i used to look at all the girl crying over there boyfriends breaking up with them or leaving or cheating and i used to laugh at how stupid and pathetic they seemed. i didnt see the point in it...in love but now that im the one standing here alone it was painful. id always wished i wasnt center of attention that people would leave me alone even for a day and now i was screaming for someone, anyone to help me. i was screaming for alex but she would never come.

"colt? honey?"i opened my eyes that i didnt realise id closed and looked at my aunt. "are you alright i've been calling you for the past five minutes right beside you"she said looking very concerned.

"im sorry helena i didnt hear you...i was really paying attention."i told her my voice breaking at certain points.

"hmm well its okay um your uncle and i would like to talk to you down stairs before supper"helena put her hand on my back to lead me forwards i think but i jumped forwards shocked by her touch. i felt awkward about it so i just kept walking. when i reaching the living room uncle henry was already sitting there staring into a glass off whiskey.

"can i have some of that?"i asked getting his attention a small smile forming on his face. as i take the seat across from him helena goes to sit beside him taking his hand. i looked at them. they looked so happy to be together they would always hold hands and laugh and try different things and help people when they needed it. i remember when i was a kid about 7 or 8 one of the boys said that girls couldnt climb trees so i got all the kids i knew including him and climbed all the way to the top. but i couldnt get back down and most of the kids walked away but one told my aunt and uncle and my parents but they said id find a way to get down. but helena and henry came out and helped me. they care more than my parents did even then.