If You

When She's Ready

Emily got off the plane and walked through the airport slowly, pulling her suitcase behind her. After the funeral she had spent two weeks at home, helping her dad go through pictures and crying into her mom's apron. She felt selfish for coming back to work so soon, but she reasoned that a few thousand miles and a hectic schedule would help her begin to heal.

A car from YG was waiting for her outside the airport and she climbed in, staring out the window at the busy city. The tour was nearly over now, the band already back in South Korea for their last few shows. Busan was pretty, the first hints of spring already visible. A stray tear ran down Emily's cheek and she swiped it away.

The car pulled up to the hotel where the band was staying and Emily got out, handing the driver a tip before going inside. Sagowa had left her room key at the front desk and soon she was in the elevator on her way to the sixth floor. She hadn't called or texted any of the guys, and she didn't really know why. They checked on her daily, sometimes hourly, even when she knew it was the middle of the night for them. But she couldn't find the words to respond.

She unpacked quickly, the familiar task almost happening on its own. She made a cup of coffee and curled up in a chair by the window. The sky was dull white, with small patches of blue scattered around. She watched the clouds for a while, her thoughts fuzzy and undefined. She could feel jet lag setting in, but sleep never came.

At length she heard the door open and someone enter the room quietly. She didn't turn to look, only hugged her knees closer to her chest.

"Emily?"

Seungri knelt beside her, putting a gentle hand on her back. Emily finally looked at him, and the compassion in his eyes overwhelmed her. She leaned into him and cried, staining his jacket with tears. He put his arms around her tightly, rubbing her back as her tears slowly subsided. She sat up awkwardly, sniffling loudly. "Sorry about your jacket," she said thickly.

"Don't worry, it's Daesung's," he replied, winking at her. She smiled in spite of herself and wiped her cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Don't apologize," Seungri said immediately, pulling out a package of tissues. "We just didn't want you to think we'd forgotten about you." He offered Emily a tissue and she accepted it gratefully. "Where are the others?" she asked, dabbing at her eyes.

"Jiyong had a meeting and the others are at the arena," he replied. "I came back early because I wasn't feeling well."

"But you look fine," Emily said, giving him a once-over. Seungri shrugged. "I had an acute case of knew-you-were-coming-back-today-itis," he said, grinning cheekily.

"I specifically asked Sagowa not to say anything!" Emily exclaimed. "I didn't want to be a distraction."

"I overheard him on the phone with you," Seungri explained. "Besides, you're not a distraction. You're our friend," he said, taking her hand gently. Emily felt a lump in her throat. "You're going to make me cry again," she said, shaking her head.

"We're going to help you through this," Seungri promised, standing up. "Have you eaten? There's food in my suite."

Emily allowed him to lead her back to his suite, half-listening to his chatter as they walked. She still felt sad, but now some small part of her felt a little lighter.

"Do you want me to call the others?" Seungri asked, pulling out a chair for her. Emily shook her head. "Sagowa will tell them I'm back after the concert tonight," she said, sitting down. "I need the time to settle in and you need to focus on your performance."

Seungri sat down across from her and handed her a plate. "I know you like tuna rolls," he said, lifting a silver cover off of a dish. Emily smiled. "I did miss the sushi," she admitted, putting several rolls on her plate. She looked up at Seungri. "I missed all of you too," she said quietly. She started eating before she could cry, the tangy food strangely comforting. "Remember, don't say anything to the others," she reminded him.