The Truth Of War || An Area 11 Fanfiction

VI

- K O G A N -
"He's awake," Clarke panted, walking through the door and leaning on the wall to catch his breath. "I don't know about his mental stability right now, but he's awake, breathing, talking, I don't know about walking yet—"
"Clarke sit down." Taylor laughed, leading Clarke over to the chair on my right. "Why are you even here if Parvis is awake? Shouldn't you be home with him?"
"Just wanted to check on Kogan," He stated, looking over at me. "How are you doing anyway?"
"I'm relieved as fuck." I leaned my head over the back of the chair.
"Awh, that's cute." Taylor giggled. "Maybe you should go ou—"
"I don't like him! Jesus Taylor!" I slapped him, my face as red as a tomato.
"Awh! Little Kogan's blushing!"
"Wait, he is?" Clarke raised an eyebrow at me, then saw my face. "Oh my fucking god he is!"
"I don't like Parvis!" I hid my face in my shirt as I continued to blush.
"Ooh, I fucking ship it! Taylor, what's their ship name?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP CLARKE!" I turned around to slap Clarke like I did Taylor, but my shirt fell from my face, stopping me from doing that.
"Ooh, Kogan and Parvis laying in bed, Kogan's mouth at Parvis's h—"
"TAYLOR!"
"What?" He shrugged. "Just emphasizing my otp!"
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"One true pairing." He whispered, then ran off.
I would have got up to chase him if it weren't for the fact that I was confined to a chair because of Parvis. "Catch Taylor for me," I commanded Clarke, pointing in the direction he ran in.
"No can do." Clarke taunted, standing up and poking my nose.
"Atleast stop him from shipping Parv and I."
"Awh, you called him by his nickname!"
"W-wait, I d-d-did?"
"Yeah, you did Kogan." He smirked.
"I swear, I-I-I didn't!" I tried to deny it some more, but now I was fucked. Clarke heard that, and it would most likely get to Taylor...
And Parv.
Shit shit shit shit shit!
I grabbed Clarke's shirt and pulled him close. "None of this gets to Parvis, okay? Absolutely none of this. I can't have word spreading about the forest that I... would actually consider being friends with him again. Okay?"
"Fine." Clarke scoffed and I let him go. "Can I atleast tell Taylor please?"
"No."
"Pleeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee?"
"No."
   "Fine." He turned away from me. "I guess I should get going back to the tower then, see ya Kogan. Wait, where's Taylor? I wanna say bye."
   "Who knows." I shrugged and leaned back in my chair, then held back a chuckle as Taylor snuck up behind Clarke.  
   "BOO!" Taylor lept on Clarke, sending the duo crasing to the floor. I just laughed.
   "Taylor and Clarke sitting in a tree, K-I—"
"Oh don't you even start." Clarke grabbed Taylor's hand and pulled him into another room.
Minutes later, they came out, their hair messed up and Taylor's beanie nowhere to be seen. "I called it," I snickered, grinning at the duo.
Taylor and Clarke started blushing. "W-w-what?" Clarke stuttered.
"I ship it."
"Well, uhh, I'm gonna l-leave now, bye." Clarke backed away until he got to the door, then opened it and started running.
I didn't notice the tears running down my cheeks until Taylor's arms were wrapped around me. "What's wrong Kogan?" He asked.
"You fucking know what's wrong," I growled in response. Truth was, he probably didn't unless he noticed how over-protective I was of Parv.
"Didn't know you had such a big crush on Parvis." Taylor grinned at me. "You miss him, don't you?"
I nodded as a sob racked through my body, a tear falling onto my lap. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," Taylor whispered, "Maybe you and Parv can make up someday."
"That's never gonna happen, Taylor. He fucking hates my guts."
"You don't know that."
"Yeah, I do! Why do you think he stabbed me?!"
"Maybe he's hiding—"
"Why the fuck would he have feelings for me if he fucking stabbed me?!"
"Kogan lis—"
"No, you know what?" I tried standing up, but fell back down as my legs refused to work. "I'm fucking done. Leave me the hell alone. Parvis hates me and there's no changing his mind."
"Kog—"
"No. Just shut up." With all the strength I had, I pushed myself up. Taylor stood back and got my chair out from behind the table for me.
"Fine. If you wanna be that way. But don't do a Parvis."
"I won't." I wheeled back to my room, locking the door once I was in.
Lies.
Fucking lies.
I crawled on my bed, grabbing the picture of Parvis and I from highschool from under my pillow. I knew that he had a copy of it aswell, but it was probably just ash by now. It was back when we were in highschool. He was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and my arm was slung around his shoulders.
Ah, the good old days when we were actually friends.
I remembered that one day I told him I loved him... in a brotherly way. That day was a total fuck up. I should've just told him that I loved him straight out, like in a "I'm gay for you" type of love, not the way I told him, which was a "I love you like a brother" type of love.
Another sob racked through my body as I placed the picture back under my pillow and replaced the item previously in my hand with a pair of scissors.
Should I do this?
If Parv still liked me, would he want this?
Ah, fuck it.
I slammed the scissors down on my wrist and dug in, sliding it over to the other end of my arm. The pain was excruciating at first, but then it got...
Delightful.
Pleasant.
I craved the pain. The pain on my arm would hopefully take away the pain that lurked in my heart, so I did it some more.
Five bleeding engravements in my skin later, there was a knock on my door. "You okay in there?" Taylor asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, getting myself into a laying position and placing my scissors back on the cup on the ledge ontop of my bed.
"You need anything?"
"Yeah..." I trailed off. There was only one thing I desperately needed right now other than a bandage, and that was Parv, and I wasn't getting him any time soon.
"What do you need?"
"Parv."
"Oh Kogan..." Taylor grabbed the key from ontop of the door and unlocked it. As soon as the wooden plank swung open, I was engulfed in a hug.
I sobbed into his shoulder and returned the hug. "It'll be okay," Taylor soothed, rubbing my back, "Everything will be okay."
Yeah right.
——————————
Yay I updated again lol
Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've just been busy (taking naps and eating and watching shows and playing insturments and stressing over school)
Whale,
Adios 👋🏻