Midnight Eyes ✵ Phan

*8*

'Breakfast is ready!' Phil called out to Dan who was now lounging in front of the TV, which was stuck on static- again.

'Coming.' Dan murmured, still coming to terms with hearing his own voice. He had no use for it for so long that it seemed inconvenient to have to use it so often.

Dan reached the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar, for lack of an actual table, and dug into the small bowl of scrambled eggs he had been given.

His voice wasn't the only thing he was getting used to, having three meals a day was also very new. He was glad, he could not deny that, but he had often felt sick due to eating more than his stomach would allow.

It was becoming clear that Dan was a good junkie but after having a lack of food for so long, his stomach could not hold the extensive amounts of crisps in his stomach,

Dan had tried to tone down his diet, for Phil's and his sake. Phil would give Dan anything he wanted, including the crisps, if he just asked for it but Phil's paychecks did not cover the money he spent on Dan.

Phil hadn't taken into account the costs of living with another being, human or otherwise.

'Dan, what do you want for lunch whilst I'm at work?' Phil asked, scouting the fridge for any reheatable leftovers.

'I don't need lunch, I'll be fine.' Dan stated between bites. Phil sent him a glare.

'You need food, Dan. I won't let you live like you did before.' Phil argued, pulling out a lasagne from a night or two ago that looked edible.

'Here.' He pushed the bowl to Dan. 'Heat that up whilst I'm gone. I'll get some more food on the way home.' Dan nodded, not sure what he could say to stop this.

'Phil.' He began, still scouring his mind for a way to put this that would not upset Phil. Phil had become sensitive to Dan's attempts at leaving the household and told Dan many times that he blamed himself for him leaving, to which Dan denied excessively.

'You need to stop spending money on me.' Dan sighed, looking up at Phil, giving him a pitying look.

Phil looked at Dan, his face masked with confusion. 'Dan, it isn't much. I can't let you onto the streets again!' He argued, leaning against the counter, his face timid- he knew that the amount he was spending on Dan was small. In fact, the amount he was spending, was more than double what he had been spending before.

But, Phil couldn't let Dan starve again- it would kill him. He had made a friend- one of few- and he scared for Dan, enough to take care of him. 'Yes, it is, Phil. I can't let you do this for me.' Dan begged, his ears flattening as a look of resignation came over his face. 'I'll just have to leave and force you to stop spending your money on me if you continue like this.'

Phil stared at Dan, wide-eyed and fearful. Dan had just threatened to run away. He didn't just leave, he didn't leave to help Phil, he was threatening him.

'How can you even say that?! I'm caring for you, aren't I? Don't you dare threaten me. I will spend as much money as I would like on you and that is final.' Phil shouted, leaving in a hurry, slamming the door behind him and in the time it took him to leave for work, Dan still hadn't moved. He had flinched at Phil's words but had no energy to move from his paralysed state.

Dan had just messed up, big time. He had said the wrong words at the wrong time, as he always did, and he had ruined a perfectly respectable conversation. He could have been kind; he could have urged his point gently until Phil gave in. Instead, he threatened him. He bloody threatened him.

Dan had managed to get Phil to flee from his own home. Phil still had an hour before the office even opened, longer until his shift started, but he had left and Dan was now alone. Dan was hating himself. There was no other way to put it. Dan had messed up his life again. But, how could Dan believe that it was himself who messed up his life to begin with?

Dan had had a complex life full of twists and turns. His life had danger around every corner and he had a constant looming threat above him. For every person who was out to get him, there was a cloud in the sky- maybe even more.

Dan swung his legs around, turning his body to escape the chair. He jumped off the stool, fairly short for much of the furniture, especially because of Phil's height. Dan meandered meaninglessly around the apartment before settling on the sofa to continue watching the static on the screen.

Dan was lost in his own thoughts and he had no will power to do anything else nor did he have anything productive to distract himself with. He had promised himself he wouldn't leave Phil and despite their recent argument, he knew Phil would be back but what he was unsure of was what was in store for him.

Sure, Dan trusted Phil but with his past, even the most minor actions could have the most major of consequences. A broken cup could lead to a scar on your back or a rip in the sofa, a patch of bare skin where the hair had been pulled out.

Suddenly, Dan was fearing for his life. He began to tremble, not thinking logically in the simple situation. The fear was slowly forming into paranoia and the trembles were becoming shakes. A panic attack had hit him and he knew he wouldn't be free of this for a while so he simply sat, tears pooling his eyes, wishing for the shaking to stop.

He didn't realise that Phil would never hurt him. He didn't know that Phil was now trembling at his desk, thinking of ways to apologise. He didn't know that this was all for nothing.

He was safe, he would never have to worry again with Phil by his side.

word count: 1037

published: 2.03.17