Midnight Eyes ✵ Phan

*27*

A/N Ugh, I'm sorry for the long wait. Between being uninspired, Eruriren Weekend and school work, I haven't had any time for other books but here's a new update! Updates should be more regular now and sorry for the wait.

Hesitantly stepping away from the office, Phil scoured the area for where he was. He hadn't realised how quickly it was possible to get lost in such a small place but with little more than a crooked wooden post giving him directions, he was not surprised that he had ended up in the middle of nowhere.

Still scowling, Phil followed the trail- past the lion exhibit, then the tigers, even the fish before he reached the final destination. Neko's, the sign much larger and clearer than any of the others. The main attraction of the park, the hybrids. Phil wanted to gag.

He wondered how it was that Portland had even acquired so many- Nekos were a dying species and to have three must have come at a high cost. Phil ignored this as he approached the enclosure to see a crowd of people huddled against the glass, trying to take a look at what was inside.

Phil looked around, hoping to see Dan cowering away from the action. Nowhere. Panic erupted throughout him, his heart suddenly beating far too fast. Phil spun his head in every direction, trying to find the easiest way through the crowd. Spotting a gap between two people, he began to push through- his eyebrows furrowed and lips set in determination.

Pushing through the hoards, he finally reached the front, taking large, heavy breaths- the glass misting.

'Dan.' A single breath, a single release of tension. A single second of calm. And then, a worse panic than before. 'Dan?' Hands pushed against the glass, clouds of sweat framing his skinny hands, the bones protruding under taught skin- it suddenly felt like weeks since he had last eaten.

When was his last proper meal? One that wasn't half a ready meal he had thrown in the microwave?

'Dan!' Face inches away. And Dan. Dan, head resting awkwardly on the cold marble floor and body splayed at an angle that could only be sustained by a fall. Dan was unresponsive. Even if he couldn't understand what Phil was saying, he could always hear him. Dan could hear everything, the dozens of voices all pouring with adoration of him.

Phil looked at the wrinkled skin of the hybrid, aged by unnatural processes. All he could think was: is that what I look like too? Dan hadn't eaten in as long as Phil hadn't. They were mirroring each other without even recognising it.

'Help!' Phil called. Why was no one else doing anything? 'Help, someone!' No one was saying a thing. He almost felt like it was silence rather than roaring panic. It wouldn't have made a difference to the atmosphere.

No one was helping.

'Help!' Phil called again, his eyes clouded with black- panic, panic, panic.

It took ten minutes for the zoo medics to arrive and drag him out of the enclosure, shutting it down for the day. Phil was alone again, the glass filled with a thick grey mist so Phil could no longer see inside. What was supposed to be for the sake of the audience was only playing games against him.

He had to see Dan.

He had to see him.

He needed to see him.

Phil had made up his mind before he knew it. He couldn't get Dan back but what if he took himself to Dan?

It was another hour by the time he had returned to the original office and slipped into the one on its left, hesitating to knock before he was called in. The man that looked up at him was friendly enough, his face wrinkled with age just as his hair was bled grey. He was balding, badly, barely able to say he had hair at all but he still retained a smile on his face, his faint beard crinkling at the sides.

A better impression than the woman before.

'I would like to apply for a job.' His heart was still racing from earlier, pumping adrenaline round his body in an incessant cycle. His voice was more resolute, though, the adrenaline matching the strides of his determination.

'Of course, what other reason would you be here?' The old man joked, the laughter lines prominent in his face. Phil couldn't help but smile too, letting out a quiet laugh. It had been too long since he had laughed, since someone had told him a joke. It had been too long since he had been happy.

'Well, any free places?' Phil asked hopefully, his eyes widening just slightly- the blue shining dully in the light. A glimpse of hope.

'Well,' the man looked down at a few of the sheets in front of them, 'we have these.' Turning four of them around, he pointed to them one at a time and explained what each one was. And then, 'or you could take the janitorial job. You would be working in and around the cat unit: lions, tigers, Nekos. That sort of thing. Would that work?' Phil nodded far too quickly but the man only laughed.

'Really need the money, don't you?' He joked, filing the papers away except for the lone piece of paper with the job description and person specification on it. 'There'll be no need for a CV, I trust that you realise you don't exactly need qualifications for this position. But, for the records, you'll need to fill in the application form. Do that and you can start tomorrow, training of course but we'll pay you.' The man smirked and handed over the application form alongside the original piece of paper before sitting back down at his desk and dismissing Phil.

Rushing out faster than ever before, Phil read the papers again. And again. And once more for luck. He had a job, one that actually had use. He doubted it would be any more interesting than the last but at least, this way, he could free Dan.

Because he was going to free Dan.

He was.

Income, check.

Hope, check.

Dan, in process.

Food, to do.

A simple list that was being checked off faster than ever. Maybe it was time Phil called his mother? Maybe it was time to go back to the mundane things in life. Maybe it was time to go back to the doctors and get his stitches checked, he was sure one had ripped yesterday. He would just rather not pay the fee- he was already in debt from the last one.

And then it dawned on him. He was stabbed. He almost laughed at himself, walking alone down the desolate streets back to his apartment. In all this drama, he kept forgetting what it meant to live. What it was to be human.

He had begun to live Dan's life. He had become an outcast. Suddenly, he regretted pushing away his friends. He regretted pushing away his mother. He regretted being nice to strangers.

He regretted a lot of things, he found. It was too late to change that but, at least, he could make sure he had no more regrets. He was going to be happy again, he would make sure of that.

He would also eat better...

A diet to make him fatter. Sounds good.

He smiled to himself, now this was Phil Lester. This was what he was like: happy, laughing, joking. Human. Not perfect. Human.

word count: 1225

published: 20.10.17