Dan stopped abruptly, wiping the tears from his cheeks hastily. He had never told a soul that story and now...now it was out. Out to a man that could send him to a compound, never to be let out again. He was putting his faith in someone, he didn't know how he felt about it. Nervous, maybe? Fearful, that had to be what that pit in his stomach was. Glad, was that why there was a smile playing on his face? He had finally said it. He had rid himself of the burden of keeping that secret. The load was shared and suddenly, smiling didn't feel as difficult.
'Thanks.' Dan murmured, looking up at Phil- whose eyes were now glazed over, the story pounding at his injured heart. Dan spoke as if it was so normal to him. Dan clearly knew the horrors of what happened to him and it still so clearly affected him to this day but he spoke with no surprise in his voice. Well, not that he would. Phil couldn't quite place it. There was something there. Something that had expected that to happen. The thought sent Phil's stomach churning, the sick threatening to rise to his throat.
'No, thank you. You didn't need to tell me that but you did. And...I'm so glad. I don't think I can bear to think what you would have done if you had kept that to yourself any longer.' Phil smiled weakly, the most he could muster in the situation. It was as much as Dan needed. He wanted no pity- he just wanted understanding, someone to know and accept it. Someone who could protect him from what was about to come.
Because it was coming. Dan couldn't avoid it forever. No Neko could avoid it forever.
'I know.' Dan admitted, his gaze drawing to his lap.
'Was that everything...I feel like the story has gone unfinished.' Phil admitted in response, crouching down to meet Dan's level, drawing his eyes up from his hands, which were settled comfortably in his lap.
'There's more, I just...I can't-'
'Don't worry. You don't have to tell me all at once. I just wanted to know in case, you know, you ever wanted to tell me the rest.' Phil smiled gently and took one of Dan's hands in his. 'Never feel pressured to talk.' A pause resonated around the room. 'I'll leave you to it. You should get some sleep.' Phil stood up, the weak smile still prominent on his lips. He walked out carefully, shutting the door behind him, glancing once more at Dan, giving him a curt nod- a silent goodnight.
Phil sighed heavily once the door was shut. That was so much to take in- almost too much. He didn't know what to feel anymore. Angry? Sad? Disappointed in his own kind? Happy that Dan made it out alive...to him. He wasn't sure. It was most likely a mixture of all of them, sending his mind reeling as he tried to wrap his head around this new emotion.
He sighed again, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts. A blank mind was better than a crowded one. He lugged his feet to the kitchen and began to stab his fork through the seal of the ready meal before pushing it into the microwaves. It was late now and Phil still hadn't eaten; exhaustion was dragging him down but he didn't want to go without dinner again. A knock at the door took his attention away from the glaring red numbers on the microwave screen. There was no harm in leaving the food alone so he left the kitchen, grumbling about just wanting to eat in peace, before opening the door.
He hadn't known what he had expected. He hadn't expected this. He should have expected this.
The man was at the door- that man that had brought a knife to his throat just for ten dollars. The man that was a maniac. 'The money.' He ordered, the formalities of previous visits gone.
'I-I don't have it.' Phil stuttered. He was being truthful. Looking after two people had its difficulties and was in no way cheap. He had ten dollars to spare, probably, but without it, he didn't think he could pay for food. He couldn't go another week with an empty stomach. He had given so much of his food to Dan- in the last week he had had less than three full meals.
'Give me the money.' The man spat, his thin grey eyes darkening in the dim light of the night. Phil wished he wasn't scared of the man with the black undercut and thin furrowed brows but Phil had to admit it- he wanted to run. He wanted to flee his home and never look back. This man was threatening and beautiful all at once, a master at trickery. He didn't even know why the man wanted the money. Did he have a reason? Of course, he did. No one robbed money for the sake of it.
'I said I don't have it.' Phil's voice was strong. He looked down at the man, he was short yet his powerful aura made him seem so much taller.
'I know you do, brat. Just give it to me.' The man gritted his teeth, baring them like an animal as he took another step towards Phil, reaching behind him. Phil began to shake, his legs almost falling from underneath him. In his time with Dan, he had forgotten what terror felt like.
How had he even gotten into this situation? It seemed too impossible- out of this world. He had a relatively kind childhood, shielded from as much danger as was possible by his mother. He was never warned about things like these. Things that were so forgotten by society that he felt afraid to tell anyone. He feared that they wouldn't care of that they would tell him that they had a lack of evidence for a conviction. After all, Phil had no proof of the man who visited his door.
'I don't have it!' Phil repeated, louder, backing away step by step. The man followed. Each step Phil took back, the man would take forward.
'If you don't give me the goddamn money, this knife is going into your throat, brat.' The man looked devilish under the orange light of the streetlamps. Phil almost gave him but he didn't. For himself and for Dan, he didn't let his fear freeze him. Before the man could finally pull out his knife, the door was closed and Phil locked all locks possibly, running from the door as if the knife was about to be sent through it.
He heard a growl from outside but didn't approach the door to see if it was the man's persistence or resignation. Phil tried to block out the paranoia that was setting in and returned to the kitchen, taking the unoriginal curry from the microwave and eating it with shaking hands, the sauce spilling over the table with every bite- Phil couldn't find it within himself to care.
He was shaken, in shock. He had never done that before...and he didn't want to know the consequences.
word count: 1183
published: 11.05.17
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Midnight Eyes ✵ Phan
Fanfiction''why didn't you just let me go... ...you sound like you expected me to,, Dan, a Neko, can't stand being alone anymore. He wants to die. It was the only way to fix his problems. He doesn't realise that a friend is really all you need...unless he wan...
