Midnight Eyes ✵ Phan

*26*

A/N I promise this will get slightly less repetitive soon.

The walls of glass were nothing but oppressive. A taunt. He could see what he couldn't have, he could see it all. He could see the glimpse of a life that had been given to him just as quickly as it had been ripped away from him.

He was a disaster.

He had lost hope. It wasn't that his emotions were scattered or even that he was upset. He was hopeless. Pure and simple. In simplicity, anything but pure. He felt hellish, dirty. He was the scum on the bottom of peoples shoes. He had just been dressed up and presented as something else.

But, everyone knew what he really was.

What all Nekos were.

He had learnt to block out the endless chatter, the muffled mumbles of the humans outside and the endless chatter of the Nekos alongside him. The freaks. He called them that, even if not to their face. He didn't talk to them, anyway, so it wasn't as if he had the chance.

The brain-dead half humans, half cats didn't say anything of importance. Their view of the world was distorted and when it came down to it, they were only one thing: dumb. They had lived most of their lives in captivity and it had ruined them. Their sympathy still stayed for those who were like Dan, those who had come from the outside. But they lacked empathy. They didn't understand.

They were more submissive than Dan had ever seen in a creature.

He was afraid of what they had done to them but then he realised, that was what they were told was right. Like a normal person was taught that going to school was good. They were taught that obedience was necessary.

They never caused any trouble.

Dan never caused any trouble either.

He couldn't put it all off to their birth, though. He watched them when he could. He became part of the audience, he watched from outside of the glass. He watched them interact, watched them talk. He saw the fear behind their gleaming eyes. He saw the shiny teeth glistening with hidden tears. He saw the claw marks from where someone had gotten so frustrated that they had lashed out.

So how come it never happened out in the open? How come no one ever saw? They were surrounded by glass yet no one ever saw anything. No one saw a thing. They were as oblivious as they would be if the glass was opaque.

They looked on edge. He did too.

The bell rang obnoxiously loud. It rang twice, a command and then a warning. If another bell chimed, punishment was on its way. Not just for those who weren't conforming but for everyone. Group punishment, the best way to force disobedience into submissiveness.

Dan was confused, none of this added up. The bell chimed again and startled, he began his transformation. It still hurt, it still felt like he was snapping all the bones in his body but he had learnt to smile through it. Any tears shed were lost in the fur that grew around his eyes, blocking parts of his vision.

He was disorientated and then, as if a joke, the buzzer went off. The cue to perform. He couldn't in this state, though. He was tired, exhausted even. He couldn't move. But he did.

He had to.

He turns and he does tricks. He smiles, showing off his canines. All because the audience wanted a show. All because he was supposed to. Not because he wanted to. But because he was forced to. It didn't matter to Dan, though, the line between them was beginning to blur.

It ate away at him.

They say that when you are held in captivity long enough, you simply begin to conform to the routine. There's no point in trying to leave. You're there. The only way to leave is in your dreams but his sleep was too light to dream.

They forced him to remain there. They forced his mind inside of the glass. They forced him into their mold.

Maybe this is what ruined the others. Maybe this is what happened.

He switched regularly and often. His muscles tore apart and his bones began to distort but he knew by the end of the day, when he was given a chance to lie down again, they would give him just enough time to heal so he could go another day. They had their formula down to the T. Always exhausted but just enough to do as they say.

No energy left to run.

No energy left to do anything but smile.

Phil's smile suddenly flashes on his mind. The smile doesn't seem so hard now, thinking of Phil laugh. There was something that even a fictional smile could do that was contagious. It didn't last long, though. Thoughts drifted on and became exactly what it was: fiction.

Dan was inside the glass, not with Phil.

Phil wouldn't return now, anyway. He had seen Dan and Dan could see that he was as hopeless as he was himself. There was nothing he could do now. Nothing but leave Phil to live the life he wants to live.

He hoped Phil had healed.

He hoped the man that had stabbed him was getting the revenge he deserved.

He didn't dare think that Phil would return. The hope was enough to suffocate him. Hope had only led to disappointment and it wasn't worth having. If Phil came, then he came but Dan wouldn't hold out for it. He would let fate run its cause.

Even if fate was spiteful towards him.

The day was coming to an end soon, luckily they closed early, but the bell was ringing one last time. He had to turn again. He had to let his thoughts go. His thoughts became instinct when in his other form. He hadn't learnt anything better.

Suddenly, before he turned, a thought sprung to his mind. When was the last time he ate?

He turned calmly, it was less painful when he was tired. It took too much energy to even bother feeling the pain. He was too busy focusing on changing. He didn't realise that he was only clinging onto consciousness when he had fully transformed.

He could barely form thoughts never mind evaluate his well-being.

So, he smiled for the audience. As he always did. As he would always do. The black spots weren't suspicious at first. Nothing was different. It was like going to sleep, he thought. He didn't even stop to think that maybe he shouldn't have been sleeping at a time like this.

And just like that, he had passed out at the edge of the enclosure under the heavy gaze of a small child.

Screaming ensued.

word count: 1115 

published: 23.09.17