Falling for the Seductress

29. Crazy Love

ABBIE'S POV

Para akong sira na pabiling biling sa pagkakahiga ko habang kinakausap ko ang sarili ko, actually, nagpapractice ako kung paano ako makikipagbreak kay Tati. I've been staying in the Philippines for almost a month at nagkabalikan na kami ng tuluyan ni Brit but the thing is, I don't know how to "break it gently" kay Tati. I am not sure if she already has an idea but I got an email from her last night with the screenshot of her plane ticket. I already called her and told her that I would go back to Singapore but she insisted to come instead.

I am so stressed and anxious. My heart is telling me to just simply follow it, but my conscience says otherwise. If I'd be practical, I would choose Tati simply because she didn't do anything bad to me and she loved me unconditionally. She's been there and I loved her, it may be a different kind of love but I still love her. And I am already hurting knowing for a fact that I am bound to hurt her.

Si Britney..wala sa hinagap ko na magkakasama pa kami and mas masaya ngayon na open kami sa lahat lalong lalo na sa pamilya ko. Nameet nya na si Itay at mga kamag anak namin nang magreunion kami last week. Hindi ko alam kung anong mayroon sa kanya pero patay na patay na talaga ako sa babaeng iyon.. kahit na gaano pa akong nasaktan.. ni hindi ko na nga maalala kung bakit kami nagkahiwalay.. tinatawanan ko na lang namin pag naaalala namin ang mga nangyari noon.

"Ate!!!" Sigaw ni Anne habang kumakatok sa pinto ng kwarto ko.

"Oh?!" Sigaw ko din.

"Ate may bisita ka!"

Biglang kumabog ang dibdib ko. Imposible namang si Tati dahil ayon sa plane ticket nya, mamayang gabi pa ang dating nya.

Nag ayos lang ako ng buhok at ng damit ko at lumabas na ako ng kwarto. Napabuntong hininga ako ng makumpirmang hindi si Tati ang bisita ko kundi si Jae. Ganunpaman, na bother ako sa hitsura nya.

"Napadalaw ka?"nakakunot noong tanong ko matapos humalik sa pisngi nya.

"Hindi ako dumalaw, sinusundo kita."seryosong sagot nya sa akin.

"Huh??Saan tayo pupunta?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

"It's Tati. She tried to kill herself and I am on my way back to Singapore at isasabay na kita."she stated calmly but a hint of worry was surely showing on her face.

"What?!---where is she now??! Is she stable??!!!" I suddenly felt like I am going to throw up. Tati killing herself is the last thing na iisipin kong gagawin nya.

I called Brit and told her I am coming with Jae. She said she'll try to get the soonest flight possible para makasunod.How Jae fixed my papers was the least of my priority. Paulit ulit kong sinisisi ang sarili ko dahil sa nangyari kay Tati. I felt like I am solely responsible for her attempt to end her life.

Ilang oras lang ay lakad takbo na ang ginagawa ko sa hallway ng private hospital na pinagdalhan kay Tati. According to Nate, ilang araw na raw itong hindi lumalabas at kung hindi pa nila sinubukang idistrungka ang lock ng pinto ng unit nito ay hindi nila ito maaabutang buhay. She hanged herself and the reddish brown line was evident on her neck when I saw her on her hospital bed. Her skin is pale except sa nagsisimula nang mangitim na leeg nya and she lost a lot of weight. I felt my tears ran down my face as I stare at her limp body. This is all me. All my fault.

Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko at halos hindi ko maihakbang ang paa ko. Katabi nya ang mommy nya na umiiyak habang nakatunghay sa kanya. I started with a small step, dahilan para mapalingon sa akin ang parents nya. Her dad looked at me sharply habang ang mama nya naman ay nakatingin sa akin na nakikiusap ang mga mata, hindi pa man bumubuka ang bibig nya ay alam ko na kung ano ang gusto nyang mangyari. I stepped towards her left side at hinawakan ang kamay nya. Her face is swollen, her skin looked dry at halatang hindi sya kumakain o umiinom man lang. I kissed the back of her hands. I did what I think I should do.