Harry Styles Imagines

51.Wasted

I danced with my friends and other random people as we all got wasted and stoned. My friend Kelly throw a party here at her house because her parents aren't home and she said it was for me to forget about Harry. There it is, I remembered him again. We were best friends and last week he told me he like me but my fear of what would happen next stopped me from telling him that I love him and just last night he told me that he is courting a girl named Wendy. I never thought that he would find a replacement after a week but I blame myself after all because it really is my fault, if I only have told him that I feel the same way maybe something like this wouldn't happen but what? What would happen to the two of us? Would that be enough for the two of us to be together? Wouldn't that be awkward since we're really close and always hanging out. My friends told me he doesn't deserved me after all because they said that if Harry really liked me, he wouldn't find someone else and should probably wait. Maybe their right its not meant to be and I'm starting to think that all those 'meant to be' or love is a big joke. A lot of guys already broke my heart but I never felt this broken before. I wanna forget everything tonight. Everything.

"You're drinking way too much Y/N." Kelly said.

"No, its okay." I slurred.

"You should go home now." Dylan, Kelly's boyfriend said.

"Stop worrying about me, I haven't forgot him yet." I hiccupped.

I lit up a joint that Kelly handed me earlier and I took a deep drag. I'm starting to feel lightheaded since I've been smoking weeds every now and then and drinking for like four hours now. I took another drag and my head started to spin but I felt stress free, I feel so intoxicated and I love it. The music kept pounding into my ears and I started to dance again and Kelly and Dylan joined me.

Its been like half an hour, or that's what I think when I started to feel like I wanted to go home. I looked around for Kelly's face and I saw her talking to some other guests of hers. I stumbled towards her, I elbowed those other drunk people and I was disgusted of some whose starting to make out or grind to each other. I fortunately reached Kelly and tapped her shoulder. She turned her head to see me, I can see her concerned expression when she saw me.

"God, Y/N are you okay?" Kelly said helping me keep my balance.

"Uh yeah I am. I just wanna let you know that I'm going home." I said.

"Oh okay, I'll just tell Dylan to drive you home."

"No, no! No need I think he's having so much fun," we both looked at Dylan who's wildly dancing with his friends. We both chuckled. "Then I'll drive you,"

"Kelly, its okay, I'll be okay don't worry. My house is just a few blocks away." I said.

"But its already 1am, its dangerous for you to walk alone." Kelly refused.

"I'll be fine. I'm gonna go now." I took a final swig of my beer and placed it on one side.

"Okay but be safe." She said and I nod leaving her and walking out of her huge house.

I walked at the empty streets and I can feel the effect of the weeds and the happy pill I took. Good thing I was immune in this kind of things so I know how to handle it. I bumped into someone while walking and I looked up to see someone I wouldn't like to see right now. Out of all the people I would bump into, why him for god's sake.

"Y/N?" Harry asked concerned. "Are you drunk? Wait did you smoke weeds again?" He held my arms and I felt like my skin is burning from his touch.

"I'm fine leave me alone." I shrugged and walked past him.

I felt him held my arm again and spin me around. "I'll walk you home."

"I said leave me alone." I said trying to bottle up my anger.

"No you can't eve-"

"I said fucking leave me alone!" I shouted and he seems a bit taken back.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? You've been ignoring me as well." He asked worriedly. This guy is really pissing me off.

"What's wrong? Everything. Am I okay? Absolutely not!" I snapped and he didn't say anything so kept talking. "I am drunk, wasted and yes I smoked weeds even took a happy pill because I cannot take the pain anymore." I sobbed.

"You should have talked to me, you know I could always help you."

"Help me? How could you help me when you're the one whose bringing me too much pain!" I shouted.

"Why me?" He asked, confused.

"You're very confusing, one day you told me you like me then later on you'll tell me you like someone else. Isn't it obvious that I like you too?! Isn't it obvious that it hurts me when you told me you like someone else?!" He tried to open his mouth to say something but nothing came out so I started talking again. "Yes, I like you, a lot, I could probably say that I'm in love with you but I can't because I'm afraid that if I say I like you too would it change something? Wouldn't it be awkward? And even if I told you now would it make you like me instead of her?" I sobbed harder.

Nothing came out of his mouth again but a tear roll down his cheek. "No, it wouldn't." I answered for him. "And that what pains me more." He looked at me. "To finally realize that nothing would change and this could also break our friendship, the only thing that I have for the two of us. I wanted to get wasted and stoned so maybe in that way I could forget you for just a bit." I felt my knee getting weaker and I fell down, Harry crouched down and held my arm but I shrugged it.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"No, you don't need to be sorry because you pity me, after all, its all my fault." I stood up and tried to regain my balance.

"Let me help." Harry tried to help me but I pushed him away.

"Give me some time to move on from you. I'm begging you, that's the only help you can do." I stumbled away from him and good thing he didn't tried to follow.

I looked back to him to see he's still standing in the spot where I left him. He's looking down and his fist is clenched. That is when I continued walking away from him.