Rumors of War || The First Avenger

Chapter Thirty: Lamia

Picture is Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes.

Music is "I'll Be Seeing You" by Vera Lynn.

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CHAPTER THIRTY: Lamia

{September 3, 1939 - Five Years Ago}

"For the second time in the lives of most of us, we are at war."

Those words made the day in late summer an even more challenging one to bare. The words that came over the radio made a chill in my bones, a weakness in my legs, and a heaviness in my heart.

Great Britain and France had announced earlier that day that they had declared war on Germany, and though I live in America, the knowledge that my home country is soon to wage war once again is something that troubles me deeply. Not only had I lost my father in The Great War, but so did Bucky, Rose, and Steve. No one came out of that great conflict untouched, and fear enters my mind to think of what my generation might lose in the sequel.

My hand grasps tightly around Bucky and Rose's as we stand in the cemetery. It's a surprisingly warm day for New York; it would've been a lovely one if we weren't burying a member of our family. I let the tears freely fall as we watch the casket of Marilyn Barnes be lowered into the ground. It's a slow and painful process to watch, and I constantly give Bucky and Rose reassuring words and squeezes of the hand, even though I know they do little.

Marilyn Winifred Barnes
May 5th, 1899 to August 31st, 1939

Beloved Mother, Wife, and Friend

Many people have shown up to pay their respects to their friend or family. Marilyn's friends from work at the telephone company, her friendly neighbors, her friends from bridge club, and even Becca Barnes showed up.

I hear Rose sniffle beside me as it comes time for the family to each take a handful of soil and toss it onto the casket, something I find very hard to do at the moment. I turn to her, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tightly. "It's okay, Rosie. It's okay to cry. You don't have to do this."

She shakes her head, wiping her eyes. "No, I want to." She walks over to Bucky, who wraps an arm around her thin shoulders, and they pick up a handful of soil. Rose is the first to drop hers into the ground. "Goodbye, Ma. I miss you." As soon as she finishes her sentence, she runs back over to Steve and hugs him tightly as she cries. Steve gladly holds her in his small arms, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words in her ear.

I walk over to Bucky, who still hasn't dropped his handful. He just stares at it as if dropping that bit of soil is the last link to Marilyn. I slip my arm around his middle, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Letting it go doesn't mean you stop loving or missing her," I whisper to him. "It just means you're giving yourself permission to heal."

"It's been four days, Emma," he mutters back, moving his thumb along the top of the dirt in his hand. "Just a month since she got sick. What if I don't wanna heal?"

"You don't have to right now, darling. Now is the time to hurt and to feel, but some day you will start to heal. You don't have to let go right now, but someday this pain will be easier. I promise."

Bucky turns his blood-shot eyes to me, a tiny hint of a smile forming. "How do you always know just what to say, even in a situation where no words should help?"

I shrug, wiping his tears away with a sympathetic smile. "I try." I bend down to the ground, scooping up a small handful of soil. With my free hand, I grab Bucky's. "I loved her, too. In many ways, Marilyn Barnes was my second mother, the second parent I never had, and my year knowing her was one of my best, just like my year with you has been."