Rumors of War || The First Avenger

Chapter Thirty-Six: In Memoriam

Picture is Tatiana Maslany as Emma Jane Barnes.

Music is "The Autumn Leaves" by Nat King Cole.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: In Memoriam

All that night, I couldn't stop thinking about what the mysterious priest said and who he was. People don't just disappear into thin air. I'd gone through every scenario: ghost, angel, maybe I've finally gone crazy and I made him up inside my head. Whatever the case, for the first time in almost a month, I was able to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. For that, I will always be thankful to the kind, elderly man who probably saved my sanity.

The next day, I hear a sharp knocking on my apartment door. I set my frying pan on the cool portion of the stove, walking over to see who it is. Steve stands on the other side, a look of urgency on his face. "Hello," I greet, leaning against the door frame. "What's wrong?"

Steve replies, "Phillips got Zola to break. We got what we need, and it's not good news."

I nod, turning back into my apartment. Steve follows after me. "Give me five minutes and I'll be dressed and ready to head to Camp Henry."

Steve nods, stopping in my kitchen as I head to my bedroom a little further into the apartment. I quickly shed my pajamas, slipping into my formal Sergeant's uniform. I lace my boots, put my hair into a low twist on the back of my head, and grab my bowstaff that leans against my long dresser.

When I return to the kitchen, I see Steve playing around with the food I had almost finished preparing when he knocked. He knew what I was doing, trying to make a simple scrambled egg on toast with a sautéed red pepper, just like my mother used to make for me before school. He finishes my breakfast, adding a little bit of seasoning from my cupboard.

"We're been hunting HYDRA for so long that I nearly forgot you could cook," I chuckle softly.

Steve puts the toast on a napkin, handing it to me with a small smile. "I didn't know you were eating when I barged in. Sorry."

I shake my head, taking the breakfast gratefully. "It's all right." There's a pause, and I see his shoulders slouch slightly. "How are you, Steve? I haven't seen you since the 31st."

Steve shrugs, avoiding my eyes as he leans back against the counter. He crosses his arms, gaze glued to the floor. "I've been better." He finally looks up at me. "How 'bout you? Rose been givin' you house calls, too?"

"I see I'm not the only one who hasn't left their house in weeks," I give a breathy laugh. "To tell the truth, I wasn't good for a long while. I'm still not, I don't know if I ever will be, but someone told me to try to look at the brighter side of things." A lump forms in my throat. "Bucky's gone, Steve, but we still have each other. We still have Rose, Peggy, and the Commandos. We're all going to survive this war. I will never love again, that I know right now, but you have Peggy and Rose as Timothy. Not everything was in vain."

Steve's eyes catch mine, and the small smile washes off his face. "Do you really believe that?"

"I'm trying to."

Steve shakes his head. "I can't believe that just yet. Not yet. Not now. Not until HYDRA is destroyed and Schmidt's head is on a platter."

"You don't sound like you, Steve," I reply softly in a worried tone.

Steve leans forward, bracing his arms on the counter in front of him. "Maybe I'm not me right now. Can't imagine why."

He sighs, and I walk over to wrap him in my arms, resting my head under his chin. Steve lets me close, wrapping a single arm around me tightly. "I miss him, too."