Kiliel

The Starlight (Tauriel)

The next few days I learn to shut him out, not allowing myself to even think his name, for it brought me great pain and anger. Instead I helped rebuild Dale, replacing windows, building walls, playing with Tilda, Bard's youngest daughter while he oversaw many matters of the town. Tilda was good for me, she nurtured the wounds with stories and games. I learned that Tilda kept me so busy I rarely had time to even consider thinking about Him. Anytime someone mentioned his name the wound felt as fresh as it had when I watched him die.

Thranduil still remains here but I am not certain why he has not visited me in my new life yet. He was never the best father figure, but he tried. Thranduil lost me in a market once. I had stopped to examine some delicate glass flowers and lost track of time. Thranduil had sent many guardsmen to look for me, only to find I was nearby.

"Tauriel, Tauriel look!" I immediately perk up at little Tilda's voice, she flies into my arms and I spin her around "Tauriel! Look at my doll!" I examine the doll, surprised to find that it was a relic that had survived the wrath and ruin of Smaug.

"Did you find it someplace?" I ask, I don't need to feign the excitement in my voice. I'm genuinely  curious.

"Yes I did!" She passes the doll into my hands, the doll is sooty as I might expect. the face has been painted on with the greatest of detail. I admire the craftsmanship, though all the hair has been burned off. A bracelet of real gold is clasped around her arm, and a small purple dress with frayed edges.

"She's beautiful ." I say as I pass the doll back to her "Will you name it?"

"I already have!" She giggles, I know she'll make me guess so I don't even bother asking.

"Is it... Lucy?" An uncommon name but still beautiful. Tilda laughs and shakes her head violently.

"It's Tauriel! After you!" I smile at the thoughtfulness of a little girl, so sweet and innocent. Bard must have raised her well, I bet he never lost her in busy marketplaces. The thought makes me laugh, something I didn't think I'd be able to do in these days of grief. Tilda joins me and we sit there on the roof just laughing,

"Tilda I do quite believe your time is up here." I say after catching Bard's eye down below on the ground. He needs to spend as much time as he can with his children, He is often too busy to spend any time with them at all. "Besides the night is falling and it grows cold up here." I say gesturing to the small roof around me. 

"Coming ada!" Tilda cries as  she lithely climbs down the ladder at the far right corner. The ladder was placed there for me and my preference to be near the stars as I slept.

"Thank you for watching her!" Bard calls over the edge, I smile.

"It was my pleasure!" I call back. Tilda waves laughing merrily on her father's shoulders as he salutes me and passes on.

The night has fallen of course, I have my own home although I rarely enter it so no one comes up to wish me well. I pull up the ladder, lest anyone decide to murder me or steal His talisman.

I have tied the talisman onto a string, keeping his promise.

He keeps staring at me like I am an angel and I press the herbs deeper into his leg murmuring the proper words to heal Kili...

The dam breaks, it's been almost a month and I watch Kili die over and over in my head, the orcs face, smiling as if he'd won first placement in a target competition. The tears are worse than they were the day it had happened, I miss his awkward smile, I miss his rumbling voice, I miss...

"You're not her" Kili looks half asleep, half dead "She is far away, she walks in starlight in another world, but do you think she could have loved me?" I wanted so much t say yes and kiss him but Legolas stood in the framework beckoning me to leave Kili. I oblige not so much as returning the loving gaze Kili sent me.

"NO!!" I cry a little too loudly, several people rush to me and I assure them that it was only a dream.

Oh Kili.