Hold On (Ianthony)

Part 24

A/N: lord I'm sorry omg this is the shortest thing I've ever written buttt it's sort of a filler for something huge yknow so yeah sorry wow I'm kinda sad this is almost over anyway yeyeah

I sat silently on his bed, waiting as he pulled the journal up from behind it. For some reason, even after how I'd just completely invaded his privacy and pulled a move that could definitely win the worst best friend of the year award, he still wanted me to read it with him. And that's just one of the many things I loved so much about him; he was so incredibly forgiving.

He set it in front of us and hesiatntly flipped through the pages until the very last one smudged in his messy handwriting. Every page after that was blank, and would be forever. 

He took a deep breath and opened it flat, scooting over a little so we could both see it comfortably. He briefly glanced at me and I smiled a little in response, and then we both looked down, and right then, something in me clicked. Something that made me feel like my heart just shattered into a million pieces. So, I slammed the book shut.

"I can't do this," I said, my hands shaking. "I just-"

"I know," he agreed, looking down at the book. "I don't think we should read it now."

I bit my lip, shaking my head. I was such a coward. I was so scared of what it would say that I couldn't even read it. I had read dozens of other pages that said probably about the same things as what it read, but I couldn't. Something about the thought of getting into Ian's mind one last time before it was changed forever sent a stabbing pain through my heart I couldn't even begin to explain.

"I'm just gonna go to-"

"Wait," he interrupted me, flinging his hand up to hold my arm in place. 

He looked down, as if embrrassed, then shook his head when he saw my confused expression.

"Never mind. Just... go, I guess."

"No, what is it?" I pressed on, cocking my head at him.

"It's just..." he looked back up at me, slowly. "What do you think it said?"

"Honestly," I started, shrugging a little. "I don't think it's any different from the other entries. I mean, it's not like you knew when you woke up your memory would be back."

"I know. But... I don't know. Something about it seems different. Like... I don't know."

I looked up at him, and he smiled a little, and in that smile, I could tell what he meant. I didn't need any further explanation. And that's when I knew what I had to do.

I stood up, still not breaking our gaze.

"W-where are you-"

"Well don't just sit there," I said, smiling just a little. "Come on."