The Last Defender (FINISHED)

Out Of Context AU #4: He Ships It

Raleigh, Racer and me were hanging out in Astravia one day, when Racer narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and looked at me.
He stared me down for a good 10 seconds until it creeped me out sufficiently for me to ask.
"Uuh... Racer? What're you up to?"
"Let's play a game of truth and dare," he said randomly, snapping his gaze away from me.
"Really dude? What are you, five?" Raleigh protested.
"No. I'm joking. I just want to ask Steph a question." He stared at me once again.
"Ask away, I guess...?" I was more than a little suspicious. I didn't know what to expect, honestly, but prepared myself for the worst.

"D'you... have a crush on anyone?" Yeah. Wasn't prepared from that, most certainly not coming from Racer.
"Uh... obviously. My boyfriend, Alex." I could feel my face getting red.
"He's not your boyfriend anymore," Racer shot back immediately, as if he'd had the answer prepared. "Get over it. Also, you're blushing. You blush when you lie. You're lying."
"Hey, that's not true!" It was. Inevitably, my face got even redder at the accusation.

"Is too," Racer said with a smirk.
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Fine," I said, knowing that, if I didn't put a stop to it, nobody would, and it would go on for hours. "It's true, I blush when I lie. Satisfied?"

"No." _Of course not_, I thought, and I rolled my eyes.
"You haven't told me the truth yet," Racer explained. "Do you have a crush on anyone, or not?"
"No," I said steadily, and I managed, somehow, to keep my face from turning red again.
"You're lying."
"But I'm not blushing!"
"Why do you ask if you already know the answer?"
"Because I want to hear it from you."
"Hear... what, exactly?" It may be important to note that, until this point, Raleigh had been sitting back, watching our conversation.
"You have a crush on Raleigh, you have a crush on Raleigh." He said it in that annoying sing-songey voice and tone that every kid has used at one point in their life.

Unfortunately for the both of us, Raleigh and I jumped up and yelled "What? ABSOLUTELY NOT!" at the exact same time. And then we glared at each other, until we noticed we were both doing it. Then we both averted our eyes.

"Why does everyone think that?" I asked of no-one in particular.
Raleigh frowned. "Who thinks that?"
"Uhm, I dunno. Everyone? I swear, people keep asking me if I have a crush on you."
"Well, do you?"
"NO! No offense, but, just... NO!"

In the mean time, Racer was laughing his ass off.
"Oh my god." He managed between gasps of air and laughing. "This is gold. Pure gold. Oh, god, you guys. Your reactions, they were SYNCED. This couldn't have worked out any better. By the way, that was adorable."

I glared at Racer. "I hate you. You know that right?"
"Yup. That's what we're friends for."
"You're lucky you can be a good friend when necessary... and possibly also that you're way too fast for me to effectively try and stop you."
"Or what?" He wasn't impressed, but I looked him in the eye, dead-serious.
"Or I would probably have been annoyed enough by you to kill you a long time ago."
"Oh shit," Racer said, mock scared. Then he laughed. God, why was that laugh so damn catchy? Before I knew it, me and Raleigh were also laughing.

"Why can't anyone ever take me seriously when I'm trying to be angry?" I complained, sitting back down dramatically.
"You're not scary, that's why," said Racer.
"Yeah. Especially compared to Ayumi. That's one scary cousin you got, dude." Raleigh shuddered, then sat down as well. Racer and I looked at him, then at each other, then back to him, and burst out laughing.

"You haven't seen me truly angry yet, Raleigh."
"I have," Racer said. "And even then you're not scary enough to scare off my bunny slippers"
"You have bunny slippers?"
"It's not the point."
"Hell yeah it is."
"I've got to agree with Stephanie here," Raleigh put in.
"I don't have bunny slippers, all right? I was just using them as a metaphor for OH MY GOD STEPH YOU'RE NOT SCARY. Watching you get angry is like watching a kitten attacking a leaf."

"Did you just call me cute?"
"I think he just called you cute," Raleigh said.
"Yeah. Me too," I agreed.
"Alright, that's it," yelled Racer, who was, interestingly, blushing. He jumped on the chair he'd been sitting on in one smooth movement.

"RALEIGH AND STEPHANIE SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"Oh, that's low," Raleigh said.
"Did he really just do that? I didn't know that ever actually happened in real life." I was entirely speaking the truth there. I was convinced that was only something that happened in children's books and movies.

Racer continued. "FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COME-" That's when I shut him up. I remembered only then that I knew a spell that could do that. Aah, the beauty of magic.
"Oh, look who's lost his voice," I said, raising an eyebrow. "You finished?"
Racer nodded obediently, and even though I didn't trusted it fully, I trusted this loudmouth more when I could actually hear him. I lifted the spell, but as expected, he wasn't finished.
"THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES..." he hesitated. "Okay I'm done I don't remember how it ends."

Finished: March 23rd 2017