Shane's health hadn't been good for the last few of years of his life. The doctors never found out what was wrong exactly, but they put it down to heart disease, a common killer of people over the age of sixty five.
It started off by him feeling a discomfort and painful feeling in his chest- which he just put down to indigestion, as he had suffered with that in the past- so he thought nothing of it. But then he began losing his breath much quicker and easier than normal; just walking up the stairs made him pant. He started getting dizzy and nauseas more often. He would have to take his time with getting off the couch otherwise he would have to sit straight back down again.
But even when he tried to help with the dizziness, nothing was really working. And then he got the sweating, palpitations, and a faster than normal heartbeat. After a few weeks of that happening, he finally went and saw a doctor, but it was too late to do anything by then. His heart was already giving in and it was too late for them to save him.
Shane blamed himself for all that happened. Ryland had been telling him to see a doctor weeks before, but he just put it off- mainly due to the fear of what could have happened- but if he had just listened to Ryland, maybe things could have worked out differently.
And Ryland blamed himself for what happened. He should have forced Shane to go and see someone. He shouldn't have let Shane go on so long living like he did. He should have taken Shane to the doctor as soon as he noticed something was wrong. But he didn't. And now he was gone.
He still remembered the last thing he ever said to Shane- "Colourful, I'm in love with you." He wanted Shane to always remember how much he was loved by him. How much he meant to him. He never wanted him to forget that. He wanted the last thing Shane ever heard to be that he was loved. That he was and always will be loved.
Nothing could be compared to the pain Ryland felt when he said his final words to Shane. Not the pain he felt after their fights where he would say things he never meant to say. Not the pain he felt when he broke his arm as a child. Not even the pain he felt when he said goodbye to his mother for the last time. Those six words, the six words he had said so many times before, the six words that always filled him with so much happiness, now filled him with so much sadness.
Life had been hard for Ryland since Shane's passing. The first few months without him were undoubtedly the hardest thing Ryland had ever had to go through. Those few months were where Ryland realised Shane was never coming home again. He'd never hold him again. Never get to tell him how much he loved and adored him. He'd never hear his laugh. Never feel his touch. Never see his face.
It was hard on everyone to not only come to terms with Shane's death, but to watch Ryland slowly crumble down to nothing.
It had been a year since Shane's death and it was still a very sensitive topic for Ryland. Especially as this year would mark their fortieth wedding anniversary. So alas, Ryland would be celebrating it alone. Well, that's what people thought anyway.
Ryland passed a week before their anniversary of a stroke. And though that is what took him, what really killed him was the heartbreak of losing Shane. The last year and a half of his life he lived in pain and misery, so in a way, his family was happy he went, for now he could finally be reunited with Shane like he had wanted since the day he left.
It was a nice relief on everyone to see Ryland go. They no longer had to watch him breakdown at the thought of Shane. They no longer had to watch him push his food around the plate with his fork, not wanting to eat without Shane at the table with him. They no longer had to watch him stare blankly into the garden of dead and forlorn flowers. They no longer had to watch him suffer for as long as they did. They could finally move on and live their lives, while Shane and Ryland lived theirs, together, on the other side.
