Sonata [SEBASTIAN STAN]

THIRTY ONE

─

he's holding her hand.

his palms are warm and rough and entirely foreign. hers are shaky from the vodka and clammy, and her grip is hesitant. she tries to pull away, but he squeezes her hand tightly and she stays.

then lizzie stumbles behind them and her shoulder bumps into june's. they break apart and june remembers where she is. tipsy, tired, hopping over cracks in the sidewalk with sebastian. he's humming some tune under his breath, his eyes bright and glassy and his hair curling slightly at the nape of his neck.

she smiles in spite of herself.

it's because she's drunk, really, and not because he's got the most ridiculous grin on his face that makes the night seem like day. it's not because his steps match hers in perfect time, tapping to a beat only in her head. and it's definitely not because he's reached down and intertwined his fingers with hers again.

june does her best to look at anything and everything except for sebastian as lizzie fumbles to unlock the door to her apartment and they wait awkwardly on her doorstep. she opens it and the three of them tumble clumsily inside. lizzie takes her jacket off and turns to them.

"i'm going to bed. june, you better be right behind me. seb, you get the choice of my floor or my couch. no funny business, got it? i'm not ready to be a godmother."

lizzie grins. they both stammer shocked excuses, their words tripping over each other's. june can't tell if it's her or sebastian who's blushing harder. lizzie just laughs and leaves them in the foyer, tossing her keys into a small ceramic dish by the door.

he's still holding her hand.

her hands are freezing cold, but his are just warm enough to make them feel less so.

"want to go up to the roof, j?" he asks, biting his lip immediately after like he's afraid of how she'll respond.

and normally she would say no and crawl into bed with lizzie. but tonight the alcohol has twisted things until the world around her is bright and uncertain. normally she would say no but the word slips out before she can stop herself.

"okay."

the stairs up to the roof are rickety and creak under her bare feet. when they push the door open, the breeze brushes past them and lifts her hair off her neck. it's a warm night, the air stirring with the muted sounds of the city around them. the sky is tinged with pink from the city lights, which keep the sky from ever falling into true darkness.

he sits on the concrete, and she joins him, crossing her legs and tucking her feet under. even with the pale sky, she can see the stars. everything is perfectly still except for her heart pounding in her chest. she's never felt so calm and she's never felt so chaotic.

her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out to see a text message from miles.

hey, junie. coffee when you get back?

she glances over at sebastian, who has his eyes closed and his face tipped back. her eyes trace the hollows of his cheekbones, the gentle curve of his lips, the slope of his nose. an unfamiliar feeling rises in her, one that terrifies her. she's hovering on the edge of a precipice, unsure whether to step back or take the fall. stepping back means easy, means safe, means miles spencer. the fall means she doesn't know, and that's what terrifies her.

as a date?

there's a short pause as she watches miles type.

if you want it to be

june swallows hard. she doesn't look at sebastian again.

i do

she steps back away from the precipice and her heartbeat slows. her hands stop shaking and everything feels normal again.

normal is good, she tells herself.

her phone buzzes again with another message, this time from chris. june swipes to open it, and her screen fills with a picture of her and sebastian. it's blurry and grainy and their faces are smushed together but they're smiling so brightly it almost hurts.

she tries not to, but she can't help but smile down at her phone.

june looks up to see sebastian looking at her. he glances away when they make eye contact. earlier, things were so easy between them when they were singing and laughing. now, things are quiet.

"what are you doing on your phone?" he asks finally.

"just texting miles," she replies.

"oh. no wonder you're smiling," he says.

this time she looks away. she looks up at the stars instead. something streaks across the sky and she gasps, poking sebastian's shoulder.

"look! a shooting star!"

he turns and they watch it it slowly burn out as it travels the heavens.

"what did you wish for?" june asks eagerly.

"nothing. i didn't know what to wish for," he shrugs.

"oh." she says, disappointed for some reason. "me either."

he finally lets go of her and her hands grow cold again without him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: me: imma have them make out up on the roof
me to me: no pull some angst out of ur ass the only thing up here is suffering and denial bitch