Sonata [SEBASTIAN STAN]

SEVENTY FIVE

( i don't know why this gif turned out so tiny but we're rockin' with it )

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he doesn't know why he's so nervous.

it's just june, he reminds himself.

but it's june, his best friend. it's june, the part of his heart that walks around outside his body. it's june, who he hasn't seen in what feels like a lifetime.

and he is nervous.

sebastian wipes his clammy hands on his pants. his suit suddenly feels too stiff and the collar of his shirt is choking him, and he tugs at it. there's a storm raging inside him. he tries his best to tame it with slow breaths.

he knocks on the door of the dressing room, dark wood with june's name written in her neat handwriting at the top. his pulse thunders in his ears, then falters entirely when the door swings open. his mouth goes dry as a bone, and he swallows roughly.

the door has swung open to reveal june thousands of times since he met her three years ago, but something about this time feels different. the air is charged with something he can't identify, and it makes his skin itch. june stands across from him, and his eyes are traveling across her face before he's even aware of it.

she's dressed in a black velvet dress that falls to her feet and dips down in the back to reveal the gentle slope of her back. her hair is pulled back from her face and he can see her eyes, lit strangely from the dim yellow lights backstage. there's a smile on her face, but it's small and sad and so tired it makes him ache. he feels as though she's dressed for a funeral, not a concert.

the silence stretches out between them like a fragile bridge he cannot cross.

finally, she speaks.

"hi, sebastian," she says.

"hi," he responds softly.

he remembers the bouquet of flowers he has in his hand, stems crushed by his tight fist.

"um, these are for you."

he holds them out to her hopelessly, his palm stained evergreen. she takes them, and instead of putting them in a vase like the others crowding her dressing room, she places them down on the table beside her.

"come in," june says, nodding her head in the direction of the dressing room.

he obliges, and she shuts the door softly behind him. she turns to face him. they're standing close together now and sebastian vaguely remembers that this is the part where he's supposed to kiss her. but he doesn't kiss her. and she doesn't kiss him.

"seb-"

and somehow, he knows what she's about to say. because he finally realizes what the look in her eyes and her gentle voice and the unease creeping up the back of his spine mean. he realizes he's nervous because everything is different. these months apart have fractured something between them irreparably.