Sonata [SEBASTIAN STAN]

FORTY FOUR

─

he's already standing by the edge of the roof waiting, his back to her.

june freezes at the top of the stairs. she urges her legs to walk forward, but they refuse. she ran up all six flights of stairs, but she's not sure if that's the reason her heart is pounding so hard. the thought of telling him how she feels weighs in her stomach like lead. suddenly, even though it's a warm night she shivers as anxiety trickles down her spine like ice.

her stomach churns when she thinks about the question she's about to ask.

do you feel the same?

she presses her hands against her face and tries to remember how to breathe. she watches him from between her fingers. he still hasn't noticed her, standing obliviously by the edge. the city lights silhouette his shoulders and his bowed head. he's tossing pebbles off the side and humming quietly under his breath.

she listens carefully and realizes it's cello concert no. 2 from her performance at davies hall.

her face flushes. she forgets about the way her stomach is aching and her pulse is fluttering for a second as a tiny smile tugs on the corners of her lips.

"hi." she manages.

he turns around and smiles when he sees her, like he can't help himself.

"hi, j."

silence fills the air after that, but it feels easy. it doesn't feel stifling. the warm breeze whistles around them as they stand next to each other quietly.

"so, you broke up with miles?" he asks finally.

"yeah, about a month ago," she replies quietly.

he won't meet her eyes.

"um. can i ask why?"

"because of this roof. because i was scared. because of you."

she's going to explode.

her chest is going to blow apart into tiny bits and everything is going to spill out, she's sure of it. she feels too much to keep it inside anymore. everything she's been carefully guarding is demanding to be released.

"i like you," she says, so quickly the words sound like one.

instantly, heat floods her face and she looks away.

"what?"

she stares down at her shoes. she can feel his gaze on her, but she keeps her head down. if she looks into his eyes she's positive she'll lose any ounce of courage that's coursing through her veins.

"i like you," she says, slower. "so much."

she hates how she can hear her voice tremble. she can hear the uncertainty and fear in those three words. they hover in the air between them awaiting a response, and for a moment time freezes. the city sounds fade away to the frantic beat of her own heart.

sebastian doesn't answer and she feels her heart sink. she swallows hard and blinks as the hollows of her eyes begin to ache like they do when she's about to cry.

then he's grabbing her chin and tilting her face up so he can see her. his eyes are so soft that she feels like crying all over again for a completely different reason. he breaks out in a smile so big it takes over his whole face.

"i heard you the first time. i just wanted to hear you say it again."

"w-why?"

"because i've been waiting so long to hear those words. so long. and i can't believe you're even here in front of me saying them. are you real?"

he runs his hands along the edges of her face and she laughs.

"i'm real. i'm here. and i'm sorry it took me so long, i-i..."

he pulls her to his chest before she can finish. his arms come up around her, one hand on her waist and the other gently curving around the back of her head. without meaning to, her eyes flutter shut. she can feel the warmth of his skin even through his shirt. he smells like new paper and toothpaste and summer and she cant stop breathing him in.

he buries his face in her neck. his heart is beating even harder than hers.

"i don't care. you're here now. you're here now and that's the only thing that matters to me."

after what feels like a century, they break apart. she can barely look him in the eyes. her heart feels too big for her chest and she's afraid it might be too much all together if his blue eyes meet her own.

"you won't leave, right?" she whispers.

"never, june," he says and the word echoes like a vow.

she watches his lips, memorizing how they form her name.

"good."

he takes both her hands in his, the rough callouses of his palms brushing hers. he takes a step backwards slowly, taking her with him. the smile never leaves his face.

"you know, i think this is the best first date i've ever been on," he muses, looking around.

"who said we were on a date?"

"oh, right. want to go on a date with me? and maybe, like, a thousand more after that i don't ever have to bear not having you by my side again?"

he looks at her with wide eyes and that stupid grin and she just melts.

"oh my god, i'm going to date you so hard," she whispers.

it's his turn to blush. he's still walking backwards and she feels the need to tell him he's about five feet from tumbling down into the los angeles traffic.

"you're heading straight for the edge of the roof."

he shrugs.

"i don't care. i already fell for you, and i guarantee falling off a ledge would hurt way less."

"you dork. come on, let's go get tacos."

"holy shit, you really are the girl of my dreams," he exclaims.

she laughs and pulls him away from the edge. they walk towards the stairwell together. he holds her hand, and this time he doesn't let go. she can't stop smiling and stealing glimpses of his profile. she looks over and notices he's doing the exact same thing.

and then she's sure. sure that this isn't a mistake. sure that she's not scared anymore. sure that she wants him, here and always.

it's a good first date.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i am a sap™ literally this is the cheesiest thing i have written. also, a thousand apologies because it took forever for me to update. ib exams have taken over my whole life, but i'm almost done now, so we should be back to our daily scheduled programming in no time.