PewdieCry-Let Go of Me.

Chapter One- Say Goodbye

A/N: I recommend you listen to the song in the YouTube video link as you read. It makes a difference from a plain simple story to an experience of a lifetime. This is also in Pewdiepie/Felix's POV. It will always be in his view unless I change things up. Sorry for this A/N here. Enjoy your story. Thank you. End of A/N. ~

I dropped my phone. I couldn't believe what I just heard. I grabbed my car keys and ran out the door. My heart dropped. No this couldn't be happening. This is a joke. Right? Right?

Traffic was slow. I honked my horn as my heart pounded in my chest. I had to hurry. I pulled my car over to the side and told Marzia to wait here for me and gave her the keys before getting out and began running between the cars.

I kept on running, my speed picking up into a sprint as I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. The world around me becoming a blur, seeming to disappear. I couldn't think about anything but getting to the hospital. That was my goal. Getting to the hospital.

Someone opened their door and I crashed into it, falling to my side. I tasted blood. I must've bitten my tongue. The guy scowled down at me.

"Watch where you're going dumbass. You could've dented my car. "

I didn't care I got up, not even paying him attention and began limping to the hospital. It was just a block away now. Just a little farther. I'm coming. I'm coming Cry.

Just wait a bit longer.......please.....you can do it.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe it.....he was right there. Blood dripped onto the floor creating a small puddle. The doctor pulled out of the room. The time was 10:50 am.

Cry was pale and lifeless. His pale, blue eyes were open but they were dull and didn't shine. His amber hair was stained with his blood as it clung to his face. He had a slight smile on his face as if he wasn't scared or sad he was leaving. Leaving me behind.

The EKG was flatlining. He was gone. Just an hour ago he was smiling, well, and full of life.....and now he's gone.

Warm tears began to stream down my cheeks and I bit my bottom lip as I felt my throat well up. They covered Cry and began to wheel him down the hall as doctors dragged me the opposite way. I began to cry heavily and screamed as I fought against them.

"No! Cry! Ryan! Ryan wake up! Ryan! Let me go! RYAN!!!!" The security guards grabbed me and picked me up carrying me out as I watched Cry's form turn the corner and was gone. The last I would see his form.

"CRY!!!!! CRY! CRY! CRY, NO! CRY!"

"Hey.......how's it going bros. My name's....." I sniffled as tears kept falling. I tried to keep calm. " my name's Pewdiepie. And......as much as some of the other YouTubers know and what videos they made you probably know too....but. Today. I lost someone dear to me. Dear to all of us. He was a great guy. And I'd like to preserve his memory and send him off with this video." I choked up a bit as more tears fall and looked down from the camera.

"Cryaotic of YouTube has passed on this day, July 15th 2014. I was there in the hospital when he passed. His finally words were 'Don't you worry..'. He will always be remembered for his kindness, his greatness, and," the tears fell heavily now and I got up moving away from the camera and cried into the wall my back to the camera.

Marzia stood in the doorway and she sighed as she walked over and hugged me, rocking me slightly. "It's okay. Everything will be okay." I cried into her shoulder. My chest and heart hurt. It hurt a lot. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop crying. The pain in my chest felt like suffocation and that something is missing.

I wasn't strong. I wasn't brave. I cried into Marzia's shoulder for another hour of the video before I calmed and turned it off and uploaded it, not even finding the strength to edit out my crying. I sat down in the corner on the floor and I watched Cry's videos, turning the sound up loudly and I played music as well, creating my own memory visual of him.

I cried heavily as I listened to his voice in the dark. Marzia left to the store to get me something. I couldn't believe he was gone. Just like that.

I looked at my notifications for YouTube on my iPad. I was getting sad comments, comments about sympathy and hate comments calling me weak. I know I'm weak. But everyone is. I'm only human. And I lost my best friend.

He was walking home from my hotel room.....he was caught in a drive by shooting. It wasn't safe. I told him. And now he is gone. Cry.....why? Why?...

I hadn't realized the video changed to a fan made video by someone called PewdieCryShipping. I was gone and Cry was about to hang himself. I felt my breath catch in my chest and my lip quivered. I didn't realize how much I could relate to this.

Sentences, no paragraphs, of what I should've told Cry and things we should've done ran through my head as it felt like my heart was being stabbed repeatedly. No. It felt like my heart shattered into dust and was coughed up with my tears and it slipped away from me.....just like Cry.

This was all my fault. I should've stopped him. I should've went with him. I should've.......that will get me nowhere now. The guilt will always stay with me. I killed him. It is my fault he's gone. I'm so sorry.

The YouTubers and viewers cried because of me. I ruined someone because of me. I killed my best friend. He's dead because I didn't go with him. What friend does that? I'm awful.

I finally cried so much tears couldn't flow now. I still cried but there was no tears. I finally got up and leaned against the wall for support since my legs had fallen asleep. I made my way to the kitchen. The house was dark. And I didn't want to turn the lights on.

I came to the drawer and opened it. The pistol gleamed from the light of the tv in the living room. I grabbed it and loaded bullets into it. I swallowed heavily as I held it.

"'Don't you worry'............"