Then *Poof* I'm Here: A Sequel #Wattys2014

Chapter 14: The Mind Shatters

(EDIT 2/12/15: Thanks again to Hikari180 for another art piece she did! You rock! :D)

~Mark's P.O.V.~

The service was unbearably long. There weren't a lot of us; Alexis' parents who had flown in, my mom, my brother and his family, and Wade and Molly. I hadn't seen anything this morbid since my Dad's funeral. Everyone was dressed darkly, most of us with red swollen eyes from crying. It was normal though. Except...she wasn't normal.

Alexis didn't listen to the service. She barely looked up from her hands, her long fingers curled into fists on her lap. She was always different from the conformity, but this was an unexpected amount of black. She looked like she didn't even care anymore. She wore the black dress she'd worn the first time we kissed. A black trench coat with a hood, tights, and boots accompanied her look. She almost dyed her hair, but I convinced her not to. She didn't brush her hair or put any makeup on. She was a mess; a zombie look on her face the entire time.

She wanted Tyler to be buried, not cremated, saying that he'd gone through enough pain and suffering. So we had picked out a spot on the top of the hill in the cemetery, a special place where it looked over the city. She didn't even look as he was lowered into the six-foot deep hole. No tears, no expression. Just a walking shell of the childless mother.

I had bought a small bouquet of flowers for our son and placed them in front of the tombstone, reading the engravement.

Tyler Joseph Edward Fischbach

September 12, 2016  - October 18 2016

"...I swear in the days still left, we'll walk in fields of gold."

We didn't stay too long after it was over. She went straight to the nursery as soon as we walked through the front door and locked herself in. She didn't come out the rest of the day.

Her parents left for their hotel and Wade and Molly left for home around the same time. By the time night had fallen, I had passed out on the couch myself and was just waking up to around one in the morning. 

I got up and walked over to the nursery. Creaking the door open slightly, I saw there was no light except for that of the full moon streaming in. Alexis was in the rocking chair, holding the teddy bear we'd gotten Ty the week we came home with him. She was still in her attire from earlier and looking out the window. There were no tears streamed on her face, just a look of hopelessness.

"Why did it have to be him?" she whispered hoarsely. "Of all people why him?" I walked into the room completely, leaving the door cracked open. I kneeled in front of her and took one hand. "What did I do to make him so helpless? So unhealthy? What did I do?"

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault."

"Was it the birth control I kept taking after he was conceived and we didn't know? Was it the morning after pill? Was it the plane rides? Was it the fact that we didn't take good care of him?"

"We took great care of him and you know that. We didn't know you were pregnant when you were on the pill, so you can't blame yourself for that."

"But why us? Why did he have to...." She didn't finish that sentence. "It's not fair." I pulled her up with me and held her in my arms. She still didn't cry, and kept her grip on the bear while she wrapped her arms around my torso. "It's not fair to him."

"It isn't," I agreed. "It's late. We should go to bed." She nodded and pulled away. I led her to our bedroom and turned out all the lights in the house before crawling into our spots. She rested her head on my chest, hugging the bear close.