Mine ➵ G-Eazy

16. The Tell

Olivia's P.O.V

June 5th, 2015

   "Gerald, I need to talk to you." I told him. We were both in my room. I felt anxious at what's about to come next. I wanted to speak to him about this whole internship for too long, but I took too much time. I wasn't ready to share. I was terrified. Since I came back home from his birthday, he became distanced. It was unexplained. I couldn't understand what had happened that made him grow so distanced. But it wasn't only that. He calls me while he's drunk, but he is moody. I started to think that something happened with his brother again, but he wouldn't talk. He acted so weird and I started being afraid again of his reaction, but not telling him felt so wrong. It doesnt matter what I feel inside, it's time I tell him.

   "What happened?" He asked.

   "I got a job at a great clinic, one that took me too long to get to." He nodded, still looking calm. I took a deep breath. Fuck, I'm so nervous. The butterflies inside are killing me. MY heart was racing at the fact that I'm about to tell him.

   "Nice." I sighed, feeling disappointed of his reaction.

   "But the thing is that it's in Los Angeles." He narrowed his eyebrows, turning from lying next to me to sitting. "And I begin working on August. I already have a lease for an apartment next to work-"

   "What?" He seemed upset. "How long do you know this?" Oh, God, this is so underwhelming.

   "I've gotten the job on March..." I carefully replied. This was the reaction I was afraid to get. This is what I didn't want. Even with the good moments we had for the past couple of months, we had been in a very rocky place. We've fought a lot and this isn't adding to the situation. Not to  mention that his reaction is very unsupportive.

   "There are many good clinics in Oakland, why did you have to search one in Los Angeles??"

   "I applied to it before I met you. It's a great clinic for me to evolve in what I study. There are many that apply there and don't get accepted, but I did." I tried convincing him. For what worth? He won't support me like I expected. This is so disappointing...

   "You can't do this to me, Liv, what is wrong with you?" I felt my blood boiling. To him? Is he serious? To him? It's for me. I'm finally doing something about my life. I want to make a living, not to be supported by my parents and do nothing all day long. "I will go nuts if you'll move." Fuck that.

   "Are you serious? Gerald, it's my dream internship and I made it. Same as your dream job is making music. Why can't you except it?"

   "Because there are many good clinics in Oakland. You have no reason to move to Los Angeles."

   "I have every reason to move there." I sighed. "I knew that this would be your reaction. I was so afraid to tell you about this because I fucking knew that this would be your reaction." I was mad at that moment. This is it for me. I'm sick and tired being treated that way.

   "My reaction is fucking right."

   "No, it's not. Fuck you, Gerald." I got up from the bed, and he followed me.

   "Are you fucking with me? I want you close to me. I want you close to your family and friends. Think about us." My family and friends support my decision. They're happy for me, unlike him. Ah! Why am I so stupid?? Why do I pick idiots like him as partners??

   "Get out of here, Gerald."

   "No, we're going to talk this out!" He raised his voice. How dare he act that way towards me?

   "I supported you when you were on tours, moving from city to city. I even came to travel with you, like a fucking idiot. You can't even support me in wanting to jump-start my career. Huh." I shook my head in disappointment. "Get the fuck out of my room, Gerald. I don't wanna see your face."

   "Fine." He angrily stepped out. I lied on my bed, feeling everything fall apart. What the fuck? My heart raced and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Fuck. What did I do to deserve this pain? First Daniel, now Gerald... Can't I pick someone who'll fucking respect me and be happy for me?

   I heard knocks on my door, so I sat to see who it was. "I heard yells... What happened?" Alexa asked.

   "He's a fucking fool, that's what's happening." I answered her. "In a fucking second everything exploded. He doesn't support me. At all." She frowned.

   "I think you both try to calm down. Maybe he needs to think about it." I shook my head.

   "He's an asshole."

   "You're letting your anger speak." I know. But I'm so frustrated... "Go take a bath. Calm down. Go to sleep... You need to relax right now. Maybe tomorrow things will brighten for him and he'll make a better decision..." I'm not sure I want to give that asshole another chance.

June 6th, 2015

   I drove to Gerald's building. I feel like a fucking idiot that I'm actually going after him, when he's the one that's supposed to come to me. I can't believe I'm listenig to Alexa. I shouldn't give him that chance. That one last chance. He doesn't deserve it. Parking my car, I entered the building, going up the elevator to his floor. Fuck. I felt myself getting much more anxious as I got closer to his door. I looked at it, taking a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Fuck. This is so scary... I feel sick. I knocked on the door and he didn't answer. I knocked again and again until he opened it. He was only in underwear.

   "Gerald?" I raised my eyebrows. He didn't invite me in. My heart was beating fast. Please don't be what I think it is. I've seen this scenario once. I ended up crying and hurting after that. I forced myself inside his apartment. If he fucking dared...

   "Wait, Liv." He stopped me by grabbing my hand. I don't want him to touch me. I feel like puking. "Don't walk in."

   "Let go of my hand." I'm not playing games anymore. I'm tired.

   "No." I feel suffocated. Fuck, I tried to breathe but it felt like the hardest thing to do right now. I tried reaching to his room, pulling him with me since he was still holding my hand, trying to stop me. I finally made it and kicked the door open since I couldn't do it with my hands.

   "Fuck." I saw a girl in his bed. The whole world stopped for me. This is the second time. The second fucking time. He's such...! Ugh. My heart was aching. He knew what Daniel did and he still decided to cheat on me. I felt the biggest lump in my throat. Tears were fighting to escape my eyes. I want him to disappear. I want to never see him again.

   "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't remember anything, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Liv." Shut up. Please, stop talking.

   "Fuck you. I don't want to see you ever again."

   "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm so sorry. I was drunk and-"

   "Being drunk is not a fucking excuse!"

   "You're right, you're right. It's not. I was mad at the fact that you're going to leave me and-"

   "But I wasn't planning on leaving you." The tears won. They escaped my eyes forcefully. "You broke my heart. I fucking loved you."

   "I love you, Liv. Don't leave me."

   "I don't want to see you ever again. After everything that Daniel did to me... I can't belive you!"

   "Please, Liv. I love you, don't go. I'm so sorry." 

   "Let go of my fucking hand!" I yelled at him. He was sad, but he let go of me. Fuck, fuck, fuck!! Why am I being like this?? I can't believe that this happened. I can't believe that I dated this moron for half a year. Waste of my fucking time! Going through this again... I don't want to talk to men again. I'm tired of it. If that means I'm going to be lonely forever, so be it. I don't want this thing to happen again. 2 ex-boyfriends cheated on me. What am I doing wrong? Why do I deserve this? I feel like an idiot. I'm so fucking tired.

  ⌘