Hollow

Chapter 24

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I felt broken. Not broken like glass shattered on the floor, but like something that had stopped working. Like a watch that ticks more and more slowly every day before finally ceasing. I forgot how to tick.

Finding words and forming sentences was difficult. It took energy that I just didn't have. I sat crossed-legged on my bed while my parents frantically argued in the corner. I'd long since stopped trying follow their conversation. Listening, apparently, was too difficult as well.

I couldn't shake the cold front that had taken over my body. The images had finally stopped flashing in front of my eyes, but the feeling of fear and helplessness didn't seem to be leaving any time soon.

I didn't know what had caused it, or what I was seeing, but it was taking over every part of me. The only source of comfort I had was Sebastian's hand wrapped securely over mine. He'd been here the whole time, never leaving my side and I was grateful.

"Maybe you should lay down." His breath caressed my skin as he spoke, his face mere inches from mine. I tried to focus on his words and form a response, but nothing came.

I looked forward as a soft sigh left me.

"Bella?" He spoke again. "Can you hear me?"

His fingers brushed along the side of my face, pushing my hair back behind my ear. He gently grabbed my chin and turned my head to face him. The bright green color struck a cord within me, sending a spark of warmth through my body.

The cold melted from my heart and I sighed in relief. His eyes searched my face, softening when I leaned into his touch. He was sat next to me on my bed, with his side pressed against mine. I let my head tilt over to rest in his shoulder.

I could feel his heart beating through his shirt. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, further cementing me to him. I let my eyes fall closed as I became more aware of my surroundings.

The world slowly came back to me and I began to register my parent's voices.

"-should go." My father said. "She needs to rest."

And my ears clouded again, making everything sound distant. My mind brought me in and out, giving me only bits and pieces of the conversation.

Sebastian's soft voice sounded from next to me. "-need to make sure she's okay."

Then I was out again. The world was warm and enveloping. My mind grew fuzzy. And back in again.

"-not right now. I'll walk you out." Miranda's voice said.

I felt sleep pulling at my body, numbing my mind.

Suddenly the warmth of Sebastian's hand in mine disappeared and my heart skipped a beat. My eyes shot open to find him pulling away from me with eyes filled with regret.

"I need to go, Bella, I'm sorry." He squeezed my hand before pulling away and following my father from the room. He was leaving.

Wait. I wanted to say. Don't leave. But no words came. I was exhausted, but I struggled to stay awake. Without Sebastian, the cold began to creep back into my heart. My body was fighting against my mind for sleep, but I knew if I gave in I'd regret it. with sleep came dreams. I needed to put off the dreams as long as I could. I didn't want them.

I forced my eyes to stay open, staring straight ahead as my parents walked Sebastian from the room. Miranda and Victor returned shortly after. They spent the remainder of the day trying to convince me to lie down and sleep.

"Just rest, Bella." Miranda said, stroking my cheek.

But I couldn't. So I sat, staring. I was afraid to move. I only had so much energy left in my body; I felt like too much movement would take the last amount of strength that I had and send me straight to sleep. It was a risk I wasn't willing to take.

The images I'd just endured that pierced through me were not something I wanted to experience again. I'd never felt so cold in my life than when I was trapped in that- what was it? A trance?

A memory?

If it was a memory, I had no idea when or where I had experienced it. It had been dark, freezing, lonely. I remembered the violent shivers wracking my body. I felt confused and terrified.

Disconnect. My breathing halted as the thought entered my brain again.

"No," I rasped out, my throat scratchy. I swallowed hard and pushed the thought from my mind.

I hardened my eyes, focusing my gaze on the wall ahead of me. I continued staring even into the night, fighting sleep. As the hours passed, I could feel my mind shutting down, my body swaying back and forth.

Blinking was becoming more difficult as my eyes begged to stay shut. My hands gripped my thighs as I tried to remain upright. The white noise buzzing around me consumed me, swirling around in my brain.

I blinked, once. Twice. Three, and I was out.

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The nightmares left me alone as I slept, and my sleep was filled with pitch black nothingness. Two nights it stayed that way, with nothing to disturb my sleep. Over the course of those two days, Sebastian had called, texted and even come to the house to check on me.

I couldn't see him, though, or be near him. Something had clicked in my mind that first morning that I'd woken up.

I could already hear my parents downstairs, probably preparing for Vanessa's arrival for the emergency meeting that they'd arranged. Sebastian had already sent a few messages to my phone, asking how I was feeling. I was sitting in my bed, thinking about how lucky I'd been, not to have dreamt about my mysterious, haunting memory.

Then, the thought suddenly hit me. What normal teenager woke up, surprised by a lack of nightmares. What normal person had panic attacks in the middle of their therapy sessions? If I were normal, living here, making friends, it would all be easier.

Sebastian deserved normal, not my instincts, and moods and unpredictable panic attacks. He deserved friends who could understand his jokes and laugh with him. I couldn't be that friend.

So I said nothing, and stayed in my room. Miranda sent him away in the end after I refused to see him. I didn't read the messages that kept buzzing in on my phone. I couldn't help the guilt that filled me.

He'd helped me so much since I had been here. He kept me calm and made me feel like I belonged even when I knew I didn't. His touch was gentle, comforting. It was something I didn't want to give up.

I would miss feeling that way, but it was best for everyone. I would never be like him and everyone else. It was a waste of time to continue trying.

Sebastian had other friends. He would move on and forget about me. He would live happily without me there to complicate everything.

As much as it hurt, I knew what needed to be done. I needed to say goodbye to Sebastian.

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Hey, sorry it's short! This chapter is just filler, but a new update will be up soon!

Please comment, vote and all that good stuff. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading :)

Until Next Time....

~Lori~