Lost | √

Prologue

12/5/15

I SIT AT the bar alone.

The drink sitting in front of me is almost gone, and I stare at it contemplating if I should get another one or call it a night.

My eyes drag around the bar that is buzzing on a Saturday night. It's filled with people looking to drink their feelings away, and get lost in another person for the night. I down my drink instantly and motion for another round at the bartender.

My hair pushes forward and I shake my head faintly so it falls backwards letting the soft hairs brush my nearly bare back.

A small sigh falls from my lips as the bartender hands me another vodka soda. It's my drink of choice when I want to get drunk, but not belligerent. No, when I want to go wild I drink tequila, and a lot of it. But tonight isn't that type of night, so I sip on the slightly bitter drink instead.

My phone lights up and a part of me hopes it's my roommates Maxine and Grayson coming back to the bar. But the hope fizzles away just as swiftly as it bubbled up when I see it's just a dumb Twitter notification. I clear the notification away as annoyance slices through me. I settle in the wooden bar stool as I twirl the straw in my drink absentmindedly.

The night had started out great. All the roommates together huddled by a heater laughing and joking around when a knock stopped us all and Cale appeared before our eyes. It was shocking to see him after everything had unraveled this summer. So Maxine and I let Cale and Grayson have a moment, and when we came back out she was glowing. The kind of glow that I secretly envied. A glow that when her eyes met mine I knew, she was happy. A happiness that can only fill you when you've come to peace with everything in your life, and Grayson was there, and she was in love. Even if she didn't know it yet.

So we celebrated the fact that Grayson said yes to going on a date with Cale. Even though she didn't want to I dragged her ass, along with Maxine's, in the freezing cold to the closest bar and we all cheered to new adventures.

But only ten minutes in Grayson's older sister Bailey was calling her, so she left so she could hear her knowing this would be a long talk. She was going on a date with Bailey's ex-fiancé after all. Then Maxine quickly followed saying she had to work on her paper for a class that was due soon.

So I stayed, because I didn't want to leave. I don't know why, but I wanted to stay and drink, and watch the people find their person for the night who won't fix anything but make it seem like they might. The same exact thing I do every weekend. Always looking for someone who will make me feel like everything will be okay, but I know, I know that when I wake up I will feel the exact same as I did before. Lost.

The sudden scraping of the bar stool next to me pulls me out of my thoughts as I turn my head to see a man sit next to me. His light brown hair is filled with snowflakes as he runs a hand through it to get rid of the frozen flecks.