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12/20/16
THE FIRE CRACKLES next to us as our bodies remain tangled next to the flames. We're lying on a blanket, barely clothed after a third round of earth shattering pleasure.
Once wasn't enough and we quickly realized that. We both only wanted more, to chase the feeling that filled us when our bodies came together. It was addicting the way he made me feel desired yet out of control at the same time. He took charge with his body, and spoke commands with a tone that made my toes curl. Every touch, every kiss, every stroke made the fire between us blaze until we only craved more of each other.
He is an animal and a god all wrapped into a beautiful man with a broken heart.
We also know this won't last, so we lay next to the flickering heat to pretend it can. Pretend it can last longer, that we maybe can feel this. Have this. Need this.
Clayton's fingers graze against my arm as my body curls into his. I am only wearing my T-shirt, and he is only wearing his boxer briefs. We are clothed and yet still so naked in every way that truly matters. Our souls were bared to each other, and it scares me and entices me all at once to be this close to someone. To show them all my broken bits and have them not run away, and still want me.
We have been sitting in silence for a while now, letting the sounds of our heartbeats and soft breaths be the only thing to fill the air between us. We lay entwined in one another watching the flames begin to dim around us as the fire begins to fizzle out, just as this night has to at some point. There are so many thoughts crowding my head, but one sticks out the most. One that should be brought up first. Probably brought up before things went this far.
"I'm um...." I begin trailing off uncomfortably. "Clean by the way and on the pill," I finish off as my fingers that once were tracing over his bare chest pause their motion waiting for a reaction. I get tested regularly and haven't slept with anyone in the last month, and I always make my partners use condoms. Well, expect Clayton.
He clears his throat at the obviously awkward conversation I began, though a necessary one. A sigh expels from this lips before he responds after a few loud heartbeats. "I am also," he replies. "I haven't slept with anyone in a while," he adds.
I lift my head lightly so that my eyes can lock on his, and see his expression that he so vividly holds in his honeyed eyes. "Since Scarlett?" I ask timidly knowing I may be overstepping my boundaries.
His jaw locks and his eyes harden at the mention of her name. "I tried after she passed a couple times to connect with someone in that manner, but I just never could," he tells me, showing me another layer of him. It's as if I'm slowly peeling back and exposing parts of him he even forgot about. I nod and decide not to push that topic any further tonight. I lay my head back down on his shoulder, and let my fingers once again trail against his heated skin.
