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Clayton's POV
12/5/17
ALL I CAN ever do is watch her.
Watch her faint green eyes light up with contagious laughter. Watch her perfectly pink lips turn up in a playful smirk. Watch her long tan limbs wrap against my body bringing us both to pleasure. Watch her fall for me every single day we are together until she finally gave me her whole heart and I gave her mine. I watch her because she is the most beautiful person my eyes have ever laid on and I fear the moments we aren't together because a moment away from her is a moment not being able to watch her and love her even more.
We spent three months as just friends. Nothing more. No touching, no kissing, we barely even held hands in that time. We talked almost every single day, and spent an entire summer together, but we were still just friends. I had to know I was in the proper mind set to be the man she deserves. So that when we finally took that step to be together she would have no regrets. No fears in what I could provide for her. Be for her.
I was right when I told her it wouldn't be easy. But she was also right when she said she didn't want easy. I'm almost a year sober at this point, and I knew this month would be the hardest in my journey. But Hayley has been right by my side this entire time. Never giving up on me, always believing in me.
Loving me even in my darkest days.
I never thought I would find someone after Scarlett was taken from me so suddenly. I was beyond lost in a life with no light and far too much alcohol. After Scarlett was gone I knew there would be no one else for me. She had been it. With her long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, she was perfect. Sweet. Kind. Would never hurt a fly or say a bad word about anyone.
I decided I would be alone for the rest of my life. That no one could ever live up to the love I had, or that I even deserved to love someone again like Scarlett loved me.
But then I walked into a bar exactly two years ago from today.
I walked in and sat next to a stranger. The most beautiful stranger my eyes had ever seen with her dark hair and beautifully tanned skin and moss colored eyes. As soon as my eyes landed on her I knew she was everything Scarlett wasn't. Hayley doesn't hold back, she's sassy and strong, and not afraid to tell someone how she truly feels. She's also warm and vulnerable and incredibly intelligent, more so then she ever shows anyone.
I don't deserve not only one amazing love let alone two. But if she feels for me even a fraction of what I feel for her then I'm going to move forward and take her love by my side. I was lucky to have a first love like Scarlett but I consider myself more than lucky to be able to hopefully love someone like Hayley for the rest of my life.
So as the warm amber light takes shape over my gorgeous girlfriend all I can do is let my eyes take her in even more. Because after this she hopefully won't be my girlfriend anymore, with any luck she'll be more. Some may say we're moving too fast, but I've never been more sure of anything in my whole entire life. I just hope she feels the same way.
