what to do

depression

I'm looking.

But i'm not finding.

When its finally close.

It fades away.

I don't know the words to describe it.

When I do..

I have nobody to tell them to.

So I just forget.

Hoping for no regrets.

Obviously a person can't have everything.

I only want one thing.

I want it the most of all.

I want to get better.

Maybe I should tell that to people.

Or write it in a letter.

Because the words are hard to say out loud.

When people say what are you actually whining about.

I want to be always happy.

Trust me I really want to.

But not everbody gets me.

So what should I do.

Keeping talking in myself.

To worried to tell somebody else.

I show that fake smile.

When people turn around.

I can't help but cry for a while.

I want to be strong.

To know where I truly belong.

Is this place right or is it wrong.

Looking for comfort.

But getting rejection.

I tell the truth.

Some tell me I lie.

Should I even care.

Or simply just ignore.

I end up just writing.

Expressing my true feelings.

I'm trying my best.

I'm already much better.

But i'm not alone.

So don't ignore this letter.

I had a very bad depression.

Talking to the proffesionals.

Another day, Another session.

I do it now without the help.

Hoping that I will stay strong.

That I want to wake up in the morning.

My expression in my writing.

Getting in a better world while reading.

The fighting was so hard.

Especially in the start.

Getting away from those horrible dreams.

Dead was then the best solution it seemed.

I know now that wasn't true.

My goal in life is making people happy.

Help others to get better.

Starting with writing this letter.